Risk
by HerSpark
Summary: Karen is young, and slightly wild, living in New York city trying to make it as an actress. She is struggling in her career, making a mess of her relationships and trying desperately to free herself from a past that she just can't seem to shake. Throw in Derek Wills, a highly coverted, rather obnoxious, director seeking a project to boost his career and get him out of a rut. OOC
1. Chapter 1 - I Wanna Be Loved by You

**A/N. Hi, so this is my first SMASH fanfic and the first creative piece of writing I have done in a loooong time. I hated that SMASH was cut short and I think there's a lot more to play with in these characters. That being said, this story will not follow SMASH's original storyline too closely and some characters (particulatly Karen) are quite different. So on that note, I hope you enjoy chapter one! And thanks for reading.**

**Chapter one - I Wanna Be Loved by You**

"I'm sorry, I don't know how to say this…" she hesitated and glanced down at her hands, fingers fidgeting with the edge of her shirt. She pulled at a loose purple thread and tried to keep her body upright and indifferent.

He was staring at her, deep blue eyes trying desperately to catch hold of her muddy brown irises. He grabbed her hand harshly to stop her pulling at her clothes and delaying the evitable.

"Just say it."

"I can't do this anymore," she sighed under her breath. "I'm really sorry to do this to you, I am. But we're just not working out. I know deep down you feel it to. We gave it a good shot," everything she had planned to say all ran out of her mouth at once.

He was stunned now she'd finally got the words out. He knew it was coming; she'd been avoiding spending much time with him for the last few weeks. She'd appear at his apartment late at night, they'd have sex and she'd sneak off with a different excuse each time. He just didn't know what had happened. She made it seem like it had been a long build up to an evitable end but Dev just didn't feel the same.

His relationship with Karen had been going great for the last five months. She'd been a challenge to pin down for sure; a wild spirit was how he described her to his friends. But they'd been fine and he was happy, very happy. Then boom! She started speaking to him less and less and he could feel her distancing herself. She'd text rather than call. And when he tried to plan evenings out, dinner or a movie she'd started to hesitate with an answer an skip every other offer he made.

"What happened Karen?"

"Dev don't, please just leave it," she said harshly.

"Look at me," he demanded, getting angry and worried that she really was doing this. She was really ending things so abruptly. "What happened? I thought you wanted this, you told me that you wanted us to be together. Karen I really care about you. I don't want to break up. Damn it I think I'm falling in love with you."

She was beginning to panic. Of all the break ups she'd been the instigator for this was fast becoming the most difficult. But it was time. It had to be done. And she knew just how to do it.

"That's the point. I don't love you!" she said clearly. She looked up to see the pain in his face and knew it was okay. He needed to get over her and move on. She pulled her hand from his grasp and moved away from his body slightly.

Dev was near perfect. He came from a lovely family, close and welcoming to her. He had a lot of friends. He had a solid job on the path to an impressive career beginning in local politics with the potential to take him to high places. He was a tentative lover, a romantic man, and he just told her that he was basically in love with her.

But it would never work.

"I think it would be best for me to go." Karen stood up from the couch and started gathering her bag and putting on her shoes to make a swift exit from his apartment.

He remained seated staring at the floor.

She slid the key he had given her only last month off of her key ring and placed it gently on the coffee table. That seemed to trip a stoic Dev into action.

"What the hell Karen. You can't just leave. You haven't let me say or do anything!" he shouted at her as she walked with purpose towards the door.

"I'm sorry," she said again.

"Stop apologising and tell me the truth. What's going on? Is there someone else is that it?" He rose to his feet and started towards her banging his knee on the small oak table in his rush. "Fuck," he spat out between gritted teeth.

"Goodbye Dev," Karen said with one final look over at him. She needed to leave now, before his lost puppy dog look pulled feelings of regret from the back of her mind. She felt like such a bitch as she slammed the door and all but ran from his building.

As she neared the subway station Karen pulled out her cell phone. It wasn't a tech savvy piece of equipment but it did the job.

She held down the number one on the keypad for a couple of seconds and then pushed the phone to her ear.

A voice answered within three tones.

"How'd it go?"

"Terribly," Karen sighed, shrugging her bag strap up her shoulder. She was lingering outside the station, waiting until after her call to head for the train. Signal on the subway was a nightmare. People were bustling passed her towards the steps.

"He'll get over it soon I hope," she said. "It was tough though."

She paused while the voice in her ear told her that it was for the best.

"What are you doing right now?" Karen asked. She waited for a reply.

"Meet me for a drink? I need one!" she giggled lightly at the response. "Meet you there" She said, hanging up the call and turning into the subway station at last.

Karen was mentally praising herself for wearing her doc martin boots today. She hadn't felt like dressing up for a break up and the trek from Dev's Upper Westside abode to downtown Brooklyn at speed would have been seriously impaired by the addition of heels. She pulled her jacket tighly around her; the early spring air had turned chilly all of a sudden as the sky deepened in colour. She could hear the buzz feeding out of the doors to SouthPaw. The bar was beginning to fill as evening fell and a strong martini, or three, was calling her name. There was a band playing and Karen was looking forward to the noise to stop her brain from trawling through the events of this day.

There are no velvet ropes and frills at SouthPaw, and that's just the way she liked it. She pulled her dress down as the wind blew and check her reflected in the bar window, fluffing up her wavy chestnut hair.

Karen entered the bar nodding thanks to the guy who pulled open the door for her as he exited for a smoke. She knew to head to Down South, the bar in the basement of the venue. She scanned the cellar room twice before spotting the back of the one person she couldn't wait to see sat up at the bar. Two glasses were on the bar, one full and one halfway down the hatchet. Karen smiled and shook her head.

She crossed the space between them before creeping up slowly and placing her hands on the shoulders of the person sat on the stool in front of her.

"That drink better be for me," she laughed.

**A/N. Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed that, I'd love to hear what you think. Come back soon for more. **

**PS. I am a brit and although I've been googling my locations and geography, it might not be perfect!**


	2. Chapter 2 - Cheers (drink to that)

**A/N: Hi guys, so here goes chapter two. Thanks for reading so far and I hope you enjoy this next installment. **

**Chapter two – Cheers (drink to that)**

"Finally, I've been sat here for twenty minutes on my own checking my phone, looking tragic and like I've been stood up!"

"Sorry, sorry, subway, you know how it is," Karen pulled herself up onto the bar stool and took a deep drink from her the gin and tonic in front of her. Ice and lime, just how she liked it.

"It's a good job I love you."

Karen threw her arms around her best friend in an apology for leaving her waiting. "I love you to Ana!"

"So tell me everything, how'd he take it?" Ana probed Karen for details of her latest break up. Ana was used to the procedure for her best friend by now. Karen likes male attention, she also despises it. She gets a hell of a lot of it that's for sure. Between the two of them, they both knew they could catch the eye of pretty much any guy in this bar.

Ana was petite, with a short pixie hair cut that framed her delicate features. A strip of purple broke up the dark black of her locks; she wore matching purple eye shadow, and thick black eyeliner to make her eyes stand out. She had an edgy look, not overly dark but very rock chick chic.

Karen was quite different from the girl she whinged to at the bar, there glasses clinking together to cheers her bad day.

She was fairly tall, around 5"8 and unlike today she usually rocked a wicked pairs of heels that made her seem much taller and left her slender legs traveling up for ever. Karen's hair was a deep chestnut naturally and bouncy with loose curls. It matched her brown eyes to the tee. She had on a deep red dress, the colour of wine. As she shook off her jacket, Ana admired her outfit.

"Looking hot girlie," she wolf whistled.

"I do not!" Karen argued. "I really wasn't in the mood to get dressed up. I hate break ups!"

Ana, though feeling sorry for friend, chuckled gentle.

"No you don't, or you wouldn't go through this so freaking often," she pushed Karen's shoulder playfully.

"Okay, I just never learn. I agree. But Dev…he was a difficult one to shake. I felt bad Ana!"

"She had a heart, who knew it," Ana feigned surprise with her hand over her lips.

"Bitch," Karen faked upset.

"So, another one bites the dust. Cut it out and move on, I say."

Ana and Karen had been best friends since their early teen years, now they were roommates sharing a modest apartment in a not so nice neighbourhood in Brooklyn. It was crooked, and quirky but Karen liked to describe their place as quaint. It was all they could afford anyway, no sense in complaining.

The girls drank and talked bad ex-boyfriends and even worse first dates they'd had in the past.

"God do you remember bad breath Stefan?" Ana asked

"How could I forget!" Karen almost slipped off her bar stool.

"When he tried to kiss you on the doorstep, your face was hilarious. I couldn't keep a straight face." Ana was giggling and getting animated with her hands as she spoke.

"I hate you," Karen complained. She was feeling the effects of the gin now and it made her both giddy and a little bit sad. Karen was terrible at relationships, she was fully prepared to admit it. She liked bad boys, and that never ended well. She tried nice, sensible, reliable men – but they just didn't really do it for her. And then every once in a while she'd meet someone like Dev, who was just the right mix of dependable but exciting and she'd freak out and end things abruptly for no good reason.

She was in a holding pattern, and she didn't think it would break anytime soon.

"It's Friday night, let's move on to somewhere a little feistier and have a dance," Ana bellowed at Karen, also feeling the inebriating effects of her vodka and coke.

"You had me at 'its Friday'" Karen smirked, downing the last of her drink and grabbing her coat.

"You got anything lined up for tomorrow?" Ana asked.

"I've got an evening shift at Ricky's, you?" Karen replied as they headed up the stairs an out onto the street.

"Nope I'm off. I have some stuff to prepare for an audition on Monday, but that's Sunday's problem."

"Plan," Karen looped her arm through Ana's as they walked through the streets of Brooklyn in search of another Bar.

* * *

"Fucking hell," Dereck swore loudly, "I'm not fucking shouting at you Daisy, I'm in a bar. It's loud."

Derek ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.

"I'm meeting a friend," he paused while Daisy spoke, "no its not some floozy, not tonight anyway."

He took a large gulp of scotch and signed.

"I'm kidding, yes I being purposefully difficult. I'm such a prick I know. Look I'm just meeting Danny Ward for a catch up. He's in town and might have something new to send my way next week after a couple of meetings are complete that he's in New York for."

Derek knew he was being a pain in the ass, but she drove him mad. Daisy was not a low maintenance woman as a girlfriend, sorry fiancé, Derek mentally corrected himself. He should know, it was there three year anniversary in a month or so and she'd already started hinting about how they should celebrate. The Caribbean had been mentioned more than once. He was just getting a bit sick of her 'checking in' recently. He wasn't sure what had spurred this latest streak of paranoia from his other half, but it was taxing.

"I'll be home a little late, so you don't have to wait up. I'll make it up to you this weekend sweetheart." He turned on the charm a little more now just to get the conversation to an amicable end for the night.

"Right babe I've gotta go Danny should be here any minute I need to get him a beer in." Dereck waited patiently as Daisy submitted and said she'd see him in the morning and to have a good night. He was pulling the phone away from his ear.

"Yeah, you too," he called into the speaker before finally hanging up. His ear was hot from the length of the call. He sank the remainder of his scotch and grabbed his leather jacket from the empty space in the booth next to him. He checked his watch, and rooted around in his pocket for his cigarettes. He strode across the bar towards the exit, needing to be outside for a bit.

He pulled open the door, the cigarette already between his teeth and lighter in his other hand. He stood to side as a girl stepped in the bar. She muttered "thanks" and nodded his way before heading straight to the staircase in the corner heading down to the cellar bar.

Derek watch her every step across the bar. Her hair swung around her shoulders; but his eyes were drawn down her slim figure to the greatest ass. Derek's eyes couldn't help but linger at the view. Her legs were toned and sexy. He loved the 'I don't care' doc martins that adorned her feet.

From that strut he knew she was a woman with a fair bit of attitude and she enticed him.

He'd only caught a quick flash of her face when she'd acknowledge him, but it was enough. She was stunning; all deep chocolate eyes and smooth, alabaster skin. Those cherry red lips had him short of breath momentarily.

He admired women. Beautiful women were not in short supply on the theatre scene, and he'd brushed shoulders with many a movie star in his time. But that girl.

God that girl…

Derek finally remembered he was stood in the doorway, he took to the street and sparked up, shaking his head.

**Thanks for reading, please let me know what you think :) go on, you know you want to. xXx Sparks**


	3. Chapter 3 - Our Day Will Come

**A/N Hi guys, so here's the latest. This chapter is a bit fluffy but setting out the dynamics for future pages. Hope you enjoy…**

******Chapter Three – Our Day Will Come**

Karen was sprawled across the sofa in the kitchen/lounge/dining area of the small apartment. Her feet were resting gently on Jimmy's lap and he twirled the bow on her girly, white knee high socks around his fingers with one hand, while resting the other on the arm of the chair.

It was Thursday, and the week had been gruelling. Neither Karen nor Ana had had any look with their two auditions in the day previously and Ana hadn't heard anything from her casting session on Monday morning. It was getting them both down. Karen had been pulling double shifts since Monday and had only had time to squeeze in one casting meeting for an orange juice commercial. They didn't think she was 'peppy' enough for the role. This feedback only increased her bitchy, my life sucks mood. On top of all that their landlord was hiking up the rent at the end of the month.

Karen and Ana got by between them, but they were definitely going to have to cut back on the weekend cocktails for a while. Especially with them both being between proper roles, in a real life show. Karen was even beginning to miss the aching shoulders and blistered feet that came hand in hand with two shows a night performing in live theatre.

Karen yawned, and stretched out some more on the couch. Jimmy tickled her expose stomach and she squirmed, giggle.

"Don't do that!" she wacked him playfully on the arm.

"To tempting, you make it too easy," Jimmy smiled at her, wiggling his fingers and threatening to tickle her some more.

She gave him a death glare, not in the mood to mess around. She was exhausted and mopey.

Karen had a mixed bag of acting experience, mostly out of town, small productions and low budget music videos. She'd even done the occasional photo shoot, mainly for low pay and as a favour to arty friends of Jimmy's. Her dream was to make it to Broadway, preferably in a starring role! Instead she'd been trying hard over the past two years just get any part. She was skilled, she knew that, but she wasn't as professionally trained as the girls she competed against at auditions.

When she and Jimmy arrived in New York she had big plans to get straight into any production possible. But finding a place to live had been task number one, and to do that her and Jimmy needed proper jobs with predictable pay checks.

So auditions were put on hold while the pair of them got settled. After the first six months she'd found a few paid acting jobs but nothing major. Now, aged 23 and having been in the big apple for two years Karen was desperate to find anything to fulfil her need to be working in the theatre.

Jimmy was tapping his fingers on the sofa to the beat coming from Kyle's laptop. His eyes were closed. Karen stared at him. She liked seeing him so involved in music. He was a composer, a talented one. And she loved to watch him work, at the piano, or scrawling notes to himself on scraps of paper or napkins. By trade though Jimmy was just a barman.

Jimmy and Kyle had been friends ever since he and Karen had arrived in New York City. They worked together at Flash Bar and wrote together whenever they had time, bonding over their shared love of failed musical productions. The two boys were polar opposites. Jimmy was rough, a rocker in style, and callous in attitude. Kyle was sweet and gentle. He wouldn't say boo to a ghost. But together they were brilliant writing and composing partners.

And two of the best friends a girl could ask for.

"Ana, are you growing to corn yourself over there?" Jimmy shouted across the room into the kitchen area.

Thursday night had become movie night many moons ago. A quite evening the group spent together relaxing, occasionally talking, but mostly just enjoying a calm company. They all worked shifts, mainly over weekends and until late. But they tried to keep Thursday nights free all together as often as possible.

"It's coming, it's coming," Ana called. She pinged the microwave and grabbed the expanded bag of popcorn. "Ouch, ouch," she muttered, tossing the packet from one hand to the other. She piled the sweet corn into a bowl; reached for the two of the four bottles of beer she had retrieved from the fridge and scuttled over to the others.

"Shift, feet, now," Ana said as she placed the bowl and beers on to the coffee table. Karen shuffled to sit up on the couch as Ana skipped back grabbed two more bottles only run back and jump in Jimmy's now vacant lap.

Ana pecked her boyfriend on the lips as she passed him a beer.

"Eww, gross," Karen squeaked like a child, reaching at the same time for her beer and walking over to Kyle.

Ana and Karen had been friends for years and when Ana said she was moving to New York for work on a show Karen couldn't have been happier for their reunion. She'd decided it would be nice to share a place with a girl for a change, even better with her best girlfriend in the world.

Living with Jimmy had been necessary when they'd arrived in New York from Chicago but it wasn't always great.

Karen and Jimmy had a long history, that she liked to keep between them and only them. But they clashed in opinion a lot, they argued like cat and dog. Jimmy was a temperamental dick half the time, Karen was no saint either. But they had a complicated friendship, and were extremely close.

"Right boy wonder, stop stalking its movie time," Karen threatened to close Kyle's laptop, laughing when he panicked and grabbed her hand.

"I'm done, hold on," Kyle said. His fingers flitting across the keyboard to finish his email.

"Have you actually ever received so much as "thanks but fuck off" back from that guy yet?" Jimmy asked, slinging an arm around his girlfriend. Ana snuggled down into his chest.

"Persistence is not always a bad thing. You should respect that, how else would you have gotten Ana to go on a date with you. Six times, did she turn you down?" Kyle mocked. He signed off his message and hit send.

"Yes, but seriously, how long before he gets a restraining order on you," Karen joined in.

"One day, when he sends me an email asking me to meet him and discuss my fabulous ideas, you will all be left eating your words," Kyle grinned. Karen slung her arm around his shoulders.

"I want your enthusiasm back. Seriously, I'm becoming a cynic. I haven't even got so much as a call back in over a month. I keep getting the same comments too. I'm light, what does that even mean? If anything I've put on weight being out of a production," Karen mumbled.

"They mean you're green, your resume is light dear," Kyle chuckled.

"Oh, now I feel stupid. Still I need someone to give me a break and soon!" Karen said with determination.

"I hate the theatre," Ana said.

"I hate the theatre" Karen agreed with a sigh.

"I love the theatre," Kyle laughed. He and Jimmy had been working on a musical together for almost a year now. And Kyle thought they were finally ready to try and take it further. For the last few months he'd been sending track demos and scrip exerts to the email addresses of every director, producer, and PA he could get his hands on.

In the last couple of months he'd been avidly trying to get in touch with one of his favourite directors. Derek Wills was a genius. Kyle had seen all of his shows, plays, sketches, concerts, even the terrible movie he'd directed last year. It was all over the gossip columns that Derek Wills had plateaued. But Kyle didn't believe it, he knew this was the time to approach with a fresh, young, idea. So he had been pestering Derek's PA, and press rep to pass on his proposals. So far though, he heard nothing. He's even been giving a personal email address by someone who had worked with Derek in the past. It had taking a hell of a lot of flirting on Kyle's behalf but it was worth it. Kyle wasn't even sure the address worked anymore. He hadn't received any bounce back messages though, so he had hope Mr Wills was at least receiving the samples he was sending.

"Aww," Ana, Jimmy and Karen said in unison.

"The eternal dreamer," Jimmy laughed.

"Why am I friends with you guys again?" Kyle asked. He shut the lid of his laptop and dragged Karen back towards the couch. Karen curled up on the seat again and Kyle slumped on the floor leaning back on her legs. Karen grabbed Kyle's hand in hers, tracing patterns on his palm.

"Press play then stalker," Jimmy kneed Kyle in the back gently. Kyle hit the button on the remote and the film began. The four of them settle down for a quiet couple of hours enjoying the movie – it was Karen's week to choose, and she'd gone with one they'd all seen too many times before, American Beauty.

Karen was dozing, her movements had stilled on Kyle's raised hand. She'd not had a terrible week, but it had been hard work. It had been difficult, trying to make it as anyone in New York City was difficult. Downright depressing sometimes. But Karen knew she could always rely on the three people sat on this couch with her. They were her family, her friends, and her strength.

**A/N Thanks for reading. Feel free to let me know what you think! Love Sparks x**


	4. Chapter 4 - Broadway Here I Come

** A/N: Time for some Derek input I feel. Hope you enjoy this chapter. I've gotten really into writing this story and have lots more to come, so thanks for reading and I hope you're enjoying it so far. **

**Chapter Four – Broadway Here I Come**

Derek sat at his desk facing out of the floor to ceiling window of his loft style apartment. The director's home was a very modern style dwelling in an old, listed factory building. The loft housed the kitchen, diner, lounge and entertaining space all in one open-plan suite. The bedroom sat on a mezzanine reached via a sweeping glass staircase. Derek loved his apartment. He enjoyed the breath-taking view of the city, the room it had to work and think and breathe. He was a Brit and he loved his home city of Surrey, and his years in Oxford and London. But New York had captured him. It was a city like no other.

He had point blank refused to move, or even consider selling the place when Daisy mentioned it around a year into their relationship. She thought it was manly, too much of a bachelor pad, and empty. She wanted them to think of town houses or pent house style apartments. It had been the source of many of their feistier arguments that was for sure.

Finally he had relented to a compromise and Daisy moved in.

Now his artistic, meticulously designed living room area was home to sickly floral throws and a ridiculous number of scatter cushions. His white walls that had stood proud, adorned with carefully chosen paintings, prints and other craftsmanship of great local artists, were broken up by smiling happy pictures of him and Daisy acting too coupley.

Derek wasn't heartless; well he tried. He wanted her to feel at home, wanted the apartment to feel like theirs, not his. But god it had been hard. He hated collaborating on most things, especially those surrounding his 'artistic vision'.

He put down his pencil atop the notebook he had been scrawling in and turned slightly towards the MacBook on his desk. He scanned his email box and saw a couple of new messages, one of which caught his attention. The sender's email address was quickly becoming familiar to his eyes: kbishop_NY . The sender's name was Kyle. This was sixth message Derek had received in the last couple of months. The boy was persistent.

Derek wasn't even sure how the young writer had gotten a hold of his personal email address, Derek was incredibly particular about who he handed his details to. Kyle was a New Yorker, a man, and was writing a musical – that was about all Derek knew. Well, all he thought he knew; you never do know for sure in regards to internet communications who is on the other end.

Derek had sent email number one from the Bishop kid straight into his trash. He didn't even read passed the cringe-worthy first line that screamed "another pitch from Mr Nobody about my broadway hopes and dreams".

Then message number two he skimmed and moved on.

Message number three arrived a month or so later and made Derek smile with its determination. He even opened the attachment, a full pitch. And he couldn't lie the ideas on the page did attract his attention. But Derek Wills did not have time for every single Brooklynites musical project that promised to be the next RENT.

Then came message number four, an MP3 track.

Derek was drawn in by the male voice on the track accompanied by a gentle piano tune. The man sang of hopes, of dreams to make it to Broadway. But there was a haunting element, a raw emotion in the notes. The singer was talented, not trained to perfection, but definitely good.

Kyle continued to send director a fifth message, starting with an apology for his repetition. But Kyle had said he had much more to show and thought Derek might still change his mind.

Then Lionsgate took up all of Derek's time with pitches of the next big screen flick he should consider.

But nothing for Derek had panned out lately. He had his fingers in a few pies here and there but nothing had grasped his full attention, nothing had taken a hold of his imagination and made it so he could do or think of nothing else. He missed the feeling of undiluted passion for a project.

He opened the new email from Kyle Bishop. It was polite as usual, but rather than a message of exciting opportunity like those that had arrived in his inbox previously, this message felt like one of defeat.

Kyle had attached another two MP3 tracks and a word doc of a large chunk of script. He had signed off the email differently also.

"I hope you find the material attached compelling enough to perhaps discuss it with my composer Jimmy Collins and myself," Kyle had written. "We would love to hear from you about this; it would be our dream to get your feedback. However, Jimmy and my other friends are warning me that this has perhaps crossed a line from eager pitching to slight stalking, so if you had considered reporting me to the police by now, please allow me to save you the effort."

Derek chuckled slightly but read on.

"Unless otherwise instructed by yourself, you won't hear from me again about this musical. My sincere thanks for your time. All the best, Kyle Bishop."

Derek hit play on the first MP3 file he had loaded into his iTunes.

The song was beautiful, entitled I Heard You're Voice in a Dream. It had Derek quickly skimming the script that had arrived in the email as well. He wanted to place the track, and he found it. It was a boy reaching out for a girl. One he loved deeply, one that had left him. It was a simple love story layered amongst a deeper story of growth and life. The highs and lows of fame.

The story was intriguing and Derek could see the first scene on the bridge described in the text playing out in his head. Brooklyn Bridge. Sunrise. Fewer cars zipping by than normal. Nobody paying any attention. The light would be beautiful and the water dark and almost black in the shadows. A girl stood on the edge, she was desperate and contemplating something unthinkable.

The story had potential to be developed into something great, Derek could sense it. The hairs on his arms stood on end as the second track began to play, the male voice he had heard before was brilliant. But this time a girl began to sing.

It was the same song he had heard before, the first track Kyle had sent him, Broadway Here I Come. But her rendition was something else. He was captured by the tone in her voice, the passion and feeling. Her talent was undeniable. He was captured. The intro was different too. She was the girl, the girl on the bridge. And he could see it all.

Derek knew this was the moment. The one he had been waiting for. The moment a new project made him feel excited. Kyle Bishop, a young book writer from Brooklyn was the key to his next big thing.

Derek didn't need any more time to contemplate. He put the song on replay as he hit the reply button on the laptop screen.

**A/N: Thanks so much for reading. Please leave a review and let me know what you think. Plus they make me smile! More to come soon. Love Sparks x**


	5. Chapter 5 - Everything's coming up Roses

** A/N: Hi guys. Sorry for a little bit of a delay on posting this! Had a crazy busy few weeks traveling to and from Barcelona and London for work. But I'm back now and here is chapter five. Six will follow soon. Hope you enjoy. **

**Chapter Five – Everything is coming up Roses**

"Oh my god. Seriously, I think I'm going in to shock."

"Breathe Kyle. Jesus." Jimmy patted Kyle on the back for lack of anything else to do in order to calm him down.

They had been working a shift together and five minutes ago Kyle had been skulking at the back of the bar while it was quite. It was around 4pm and the day so far had seen them both rushed off their feet. Jimmy was busy stacking glasses and checking the stock before the post-work rush set in.

He'd caught a glimpse of Kyle out of the corner of his eye staring at his laptop, his face blank. He hadn't touched the keys or mouse pad in a while. Then suddenly his friend had sprang to his feet and rushed over to him, knocking into at least two tables and a chair on the way across the room.

"Oh my god," Kyle kept repeating to him. He was practically shaking with excitement about something.

"What is it you big idiot? You're not making any sense," Jimmy said. Pushing Kyle onto a bar stool before he collapse from the all the hyperventilating he was doing.

"He replied," Kyle said quietly. "Derek Wills. The Derek Wills sent me an email!" He then all but screeched at Jimmy.

"Seriously?" Jimmy said. He wasn't sure how else to respond. Kyle had been pestering the guy for months. Jimmy though he should have given in a long time ago. In fact he was pretty sure that Kyle wasn't even sending messages to the right person at all. "Are you sure?"

Kyle stood up and grabbed Jimmy by the shoulders. Shaking him as he hopped up and down.

"He wants a meeting. He said he had been receiving all of my messages but he's been busy and wasn't sure we had anything until I sent him the last two tracks," Kyle was positively beaming. "He loved you. And he said Broad Way Here I Come had finally won him over."

Kyle ran back across the room and grabbed his laptop. He stumbled back over to Jimmy and thrust it in his face. "Look, look for yourself."

Jimmy took hold of the computer as Kyle began pacing and ranting on mostly to himself.

"What do I say? This is actually happening. I hadn't made a plan of what to do if he actually responded. This is crazy. Derek Wills. The Derek Wills."

"Calm down Kyle, you're such a fan girl," Jimmy joked. "Are you sure we want to do this? That this is a guy we want to trust with everything we have?"

Kyle stopped in his tracks and stared at Jimmy. His voice took on a serious tone as he replied with just one word.

"Yes."

"Okay," Jimmy smiled at his friends. "Let's do this." He pulled the laptop and positioned it between them as they took seats at the bar. Together they composed a response to the director.

"This is amazing. I'm so happy for you guys," Karen pulled Jimmy and Kyle into a huge hug. They had just finished telling her the good news about their upcoming meeting with Derek Wills. Karan didn't really know much about the guy. She'd seen some of his work of course. Kyle made sure to that. He'd even made her watch that terrible rom-com last year. She was sure the guy's talents on Broad Way musicals spoke for themselves though. He could really take Jimmy and Kyle's work to a whole new level.

"He loved your track Karen," Kyle gushed. Karen had recorded a sample track of one of Jimmy and Kyles main songs in order for them to pitch the story with an example of the female lead character. Jimmy had been the stand in for the male role. She had had fun doing the song and working with her friends. It was a beautiful piece of music too. But should the boys' work get any further she knew they'd be looking for someone far better and more experienced than her for the role.

"What a compliment," Karen laughed. Though she had no idea how much Derek's opinion meant on the theatre scene. She was still trying to learn all the big producers and directors currently on the scene let alone figures from the past. "So when are you meeting the big bad director for the first time?" she asked.

"His assistant has pencilled us in, they were her words, on Saturday at 12noon. Apparently Derek is out of town all week until then. I'm so nervous already," he confessed.

Karen smiled at him and hugged Kyle again tightly. "Don't be silly, you'll do great. Just give him everything you're got, there's no way he won't love you and your work."

"Thanks Karen," Kyle said, still shaking slightly in giddy excitement.

"I want to know how it goes the moment you get out!" She scolded the two boys. They were at Flash Bar, Jimmy was still on shift and Kyle and Karen were keeping him company. She had also come by with the intention of sharing good news with her friends and celebrating with a drink or two. She had scored a job as a backing dancing on the upcoming live shows of America's Got Talent. It had been a last minute call after two of the dancers had pulled out. She was friends with a couple of the guys already on production for the talent show and they had passed her name on.

It wasn't anything long term and would probably centre on cheesy routines in hideously fluorescent outfits. But it was a job, performing, in front of a live audience and millions of home viewers.

Now though Karen felt like the news could wait. It was Kyle's big moment, and she was beyond thrilled for him.

"You need a proper drink to celebrate!" Karen smiled at Kyle and pushed Jimmy away to go and get them two glasses of fizzy wine.

Karen's phone buzzed, it was Ana. She was on her way to meet them, her entire message was in capitals with the excitement so Karen assumed Jimmy had broken the good news to her already.

"Jimmy make that three, Ana is on her way down now," Karen leaned over the bar to call to Jimmy at the other end.

Once Ana arrived at Flash the four of them celebrated for Kyle and Jimmy and just enjoyed the moment. Karen was incredibly proud of them both, even if it went no further with the director they were meeting. This was one huge first step for them.

The bar was getting busy and the three friends were talking loudly to combat the noise and because of the growing number of glasses they had emptied between them.

"Karen, your call today from Jeremy, shit I forgot to ask you how it went!" Ana suddenly grabbed her friend and stared in her face. "Did you get it? You're smiling, does that meant they made you an offer! Tell me I'm about to burst. And I genuinely do need to pee so hurry up about it woman."

"Chill Ana. Yes they made me an offer and yes I accepted," Karen replied. As Ana squealed with delight Karen put her hand over her friend's mouth. Kyle was looking over at them from the jukebox in the corner. "Its short term, four weeks of shows and a couple beforehand in rehearsals. I'm ridiculously excited but I haven't told anyone yet. Let's just enjoy the night with the boys. Their meeting opportunity is amazing! I'll fill them in on my finally scoring a job tomorrow," Karen reeled off in one fast line to her friend. "So keep it zipped girly." Ana nodded and pretended to lock her mouth with an imaginary key and threw it over her shoulder.

The four friends hung around the bar until the end of Jimmy's shift and then called it a night. The boys were walking the two rather tipsy girls home before moving on to their apartment.

"Oh, I've forgotten everything I was meant to ask you so far today," Ana suddenly said over her shoulder to Karen who had been talking very animatedly with Kyle about the script for his musical.

"Ana," Karen warned.

The smaller girl swung around and grabbed her best friend.

"Bobby is in town this weekend. It's his birthday, 25! He's officially rounding up to 30 now," she laughed. "He's invited us all to his birthday drinks and karaoke party on Friday. Let's go!"

Ana stumbled slightly and Jimmy took her arm again.

"Sure I'm in," Karen chuckled at her friend.

"I'm gonna pass," Kyle said quickly. "We're meeting Derek Saturday, I have so much to prepare. Plus I know what Bobby is like and I do not need that kind of hang over that day."

"I'll pass too, but I'm sure you guys can party for the four of us," Jimmy added.

"Who else is going?" Karen asked as they neared the front steps of the apartment building.

Ana was too busy kissing Jimmy, very eagerly, good night. Kyle hugged Karen and whisper good night and she headed towards the steps. Ana finally let Jimmy go and followed. Jimmy grabbed Karen on her way by and gave her a tight hug.

"Well done on the job," he whispered and winked at her.

"Goodnight," she smiled back in response.

The boys turned and carried on down the street. Karen escorted Ana up the stairs. The night had turned chilly and Karen couldn't wait to get into the warm and then into bed, she suddenly felt exhausted.

"So come on I need details, who will be at Bobby's party?" Karen asked again, already mentally planning her outfit.

"I don't know lots of theatre people…" Ana finally replied, as they made it to their front door after lots of tripping and giggling.

Karen pushed the small girl through the entrance and locked the door behind them.

"Bed for you I think," she laughed watching as Ana collapsed immediately on the couch. "Or not," Karen muttered to herself. She grabbed a blanket of the chair in the corner and tossed it over the slightly snoring girl. Before kicking off her heels and heading to bed.

**A/N: Thanks for reading. Please leave a review and let me know what you're thinking so far Also, the time is almost here…CARTWILLS' FIRST "PROPER" ENCOUNTER IS ON ITS WAY! Love Sparks xx **


	6. Chapter 6 - High and Dry

** A/N: Hi guys, so it took me a little while to get this chapter how I wanted it. But I'm pretty happy with the final thing. Hope you enjoy it and feel free to let me know what you think by pressing that cheeky review button at the end. **

**Also I don't think I've been putting this but obviously I do not own SMASH. If I did Jack Davenport would have spent a lot more time with his shirt off! Characters belong to SMASH, this story plot is all a figment of my dirty imagination. **

**Thanks and enjoy!**

**Chapter six – High and Dry**

"Help please," Karen begged in a sign-song tone. She was desperately throwing clothes all over her room in the hunt for something to wear. She was bored of the contents of her closet, which was ridiculous because she own far too many clothes. But a shopping spree was out of the question in her current financial situation so instead she was rooting for that hidden gem. That dress you'd forgotten all about. Those shoes you bought and never found the right occasion for. But so far digging through her wardrobe, or now more precisely her 'floordrobe', had turned up no such feat.

"Kyle, come on. Help me pick something. Ana is going to get pissy if I'm not ready in like 15 mintues," Karen panicked.

She didn't know why she cared so much about her looks this evening. Maybe it was because she was single again and shallow as it was that made her care more what people thought about her when they saw her. Maybe it was also because Bobby's friends all worked in various shows currently or soon to be on Broadway and they made her feel jealous, and insignificant. And god they were a judgemental bunch. Very cliquey. She was desperate to fit in though, after all it was exactly where she wanted to be.

"Errm, what are you going for? Casually but girly? Edgy and daring? Give me something to work with woman." Kyle teased, throwing his arms around dramatically as he spoke.

"Upper East Side classy with a glimpse of Brooklyn bitch?" Karen laughed back at him.

Kyle threw a few things from the bed to floor muttering "nope, no, definitely not," filtering down the options. He finally stopped and held up a deep red wine coloured dress. It was short and layered with a bow at the waist. The top of the dress plunged in a tantalising way, that left just enough to the imagination. It was quite short, and would show quite an impressive amount of leg, but its flouncy skirt balanced out the sexiness.

"This one," he announced, tossing the item at Karen. "Just put it on now, don't argue." He stopped her before the words of questioning even left her parted lips.

Karen changed quickly while Kylie continued to shift through the mess of clothing for the perfect shoes. He pulled out a pair of thick heeled cut-out boot style shoes. They were clunky enough to dress down the outfit to Brooklyn chic.

"These too," Kyle told her. "Here and this clutch." He thrust a long thin, black wallet style bag into Karen's open arms.

She hopped around buckling her shoes and then turned to face the full length mirror in her room.

"I love you Kyle Bishop!" She pronounced. Twisting the see the outfit at all angles.

"You'll do," he laughed. "Now go, have fun. Tell Bobby happy 30th from me."

"I will and he'll get you back for it later," Karen said, knowing Bobby wasn't getting highly temperamental about his age now he'd reached the grand year of 25. The two left Karen's room to meet Ana in the lounge, she was dressed in a tight purple corset-style top with skin tight black jeans and a wicked pair of stilettos that Karen knew would be off her feet by midnight.

"Finally, god you're such a girl," Ana complained. "Let's make a move Chica."

The boys followed the girls out of the apartment, and down the hall.

"Shit door!" Karen said suddenly, running back to lock the front door. She caught up with the others while stuffing her keys into the bag Kyle had chosen, absent-mindedly checking her phone which held no missed messages.

"Right girls, have fun. See you tomorrow evening," Jimmy said, bidding them both Farwell, Karen with a peck on the cheek and Ana with a lingering kiss.

Kyle followed suit with hugs.

"Break a leg tomorrow!" Karen told them both. It was their big meeting with the infamous Derek Wills tomorrow and the boys were spending the rest of their night preparing everything to use in their pitch.

"You'll be great, and we want to know straight away what happens!" Ana said.

The group parted with shouts of good night over their shoulders. Ana and Karen hailed a cab to take them to Table 46. Bobby's watering hole of choice to start the night of debauchery.

The party was already in motion when they arrived and Bobby was more than a couple of appletini's down and dancing his ass off.

He pulled them both into a tipsy hug and immediately steered them towards the bar. Jessica, who Ana knew quite well from previous jobs together, was already on stage with a couple of other dancers. They were performing a routine they all knew to Adele's Rumor Has It. Karen watched them, it looked like fun. She cheered with the rest of the crowd as the song ended.

Then Sam, another actor friend of Bobby's that Karen knew in passing, took to the stage for a karaoke rendition of Bon Jovi's Living on a Prayer. It was hilarious, and Sam fully committed to his rock star air guitar moves.

The night progressed with much more singing and dancing and drinking. Ana's shoes were in her hand as she pranced around the dance floor with Bobby.

A red headed woman took to the stage. She started to sing, her voice was very sickly sweet as she performed Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. Karen didn't know her name off the top of her head, but she recognised her face.

"That's Daisy Parker," Sam said to her, after catching Karen staring in the direction of the stage.

"Oh yeah, she's in Roxy right now right?" Karen asked him, talking about musical that had arrived on Broadway last season. Posters for the show still adorn many billboards in the streets nearby and on the subway stations.

"Yep, though she didn't start out as the star, she took over from Eliza Melbourne half way through the season," Sam caught Karen up on the gossip. "Word on the street is she got her boyfriend to pull a few strings to get her the part. He's good friends with the producers," Sam continued.

Daisy's song ended and people all around them clapped and cheered.

"Who's her boyfriend?" Karen asked him.

"Come on, everyone knows," Sam laughed at her. "It's…"

"Karen, Karen Cartwright!" Bobby hollered across the bar at her. "Girl you better get up here and sing to me. I've been waiting all evening." Bobby was slurring his words slightly but was enthusiastically waving her forward from his position on the stage.

"Well we must appease the birthday boy, especially on his big 3-oh!" she called back, making her way to the stage.

"Bitch," Bobby said with his hand on his heart. "It's a good job I love you."

Karen took the microphone from bobby's hand and whispered her request to the DJ. The music began and she took a deep breath before singing the first lines of Call Me by Blondie.

She sang to her friends, enjoying their response in joining in the tune and dancing along. When the song ended the bar erupted in applause, it made her suddenly feel very exposed. So Karen dashed off the stage towards Ana and Jessica.

"Cartwright those are some fabulous lungs!" Bobby yelled over the music that had started up again. Nobody had got on stage to do the next Karaoke performance.

People were singing her praises but Karen's attention was hooked on two girls towards the back of the group. Daisy, the red head who had just been on stage before Karen was staring daggers at her. While a petite but busty blonde kept glancing in her direction but carried on talking to the woman next her. Eventually they turned away to join in a conversation with Sam and some others.

The red head shortly exited the bar with her phone in her hand. Karen turned her attention back to Ana and took a seat with her at a nearby table. Before long though the spritely, feisty girl was back up and the dance floor while Karen stayed in her seat stirring her drink. She could feel eyes on her again. The atmosphere had changed since she'd gotten off the stage, she didn't like it.

A guy called Connor suddenly sat next to her and started rambling about his boyfriend who was running late. Karen turned to him and listened with a smile. Connor was funny and he started asking her questions about what she did and where she was from. She was secretly thankful for his attempts to involve her in the evening. After a short while people began to congregate around the tables and Karen enjoyed listening in on snippets of different conversations taking place around her. To her left she briefly caught the end of a discussion between Bobby, Jessica and their friend Dennis about the origins of the term 'dogging'. Their arguing made her giggle loudly and when they all turn to face her Karen blushed.

"Have insight to share here Cartwright?" Bobby asked.

"No, no thank you," Karen responded quickly. She picked up her glass and down some of her vodka tonic to have a reason not to speak any further.

"Come on guys we're moving on!" the blonde girl from before called to the group as they were beginning to grab their bags and coats staggering slightly in their tipsy states.

"Karen, we're going to dance at the Break, you're coming right?" Ana whined to her friend. Her shoes finally back on her feet.

"I'm not really in the mood, but you go Ana. Seriously. I think I'm gonna head off in a little while," Karen replied. She saw Ana about to protest and held up her hand. "Ana Vasquez, go and enjoy yourself. Just promise me you'll come home in a cab with someone and let me know when you get in. I'll hang with Connor for a bit. He's waiting for his boyfriend to get here. Then I'll head home," Karen countered.

She wasn't sure why but the night had died down a bit for Karen since she'd come off stage. The chilly looks from a couple of Bobby's friends kept catching her gaze and she didn't want to bring a downer on the evening for the rest of the party animals with her glum mood.

"If you're sure," Ana said, in a voice that Karen knew meant that she didn't really want her friend to ask her to stay at all.

"Go little pixie, dance the night away," Karen pushed her friendly gently towards to the door.

Bobby was being pulled away by the crowd but Karen could hear him shouting at her to get her ass to Break now. The party goers were leaving together. Ana gathered her coat and bag and followed with Sam.

"Night lover," she called over her shoulder.

Karen and Connor continued their conversation for a while before Karen suggested they get another round. She made her way towards the bar, which was still surrounded by patrons nursing glasses of alcohol or waiting to be served. When she got to the front of the crowd and leant on the bar to wait for a server she noticed for the first time the man next to her.

She glance at him shyly, not wanting to be caught staring. He was hansom, with a strong jaw covered with just the right amount of stubble to be considered rugged and pretty damn sexy. She must have let her eyes linger a little too long because suddenly he turn to face her.

His eyes looked slightly surprised, almost like he was trying to figure out if he knew her. She definitely didn't know him. She'd remember those green eyes if she'd them before. They were piercing. She smiled, and immediately cursed herself in her head. She was being such a girl right now.

Derek had spotted her in his peripheral view when she approached the bar. He wasn't sure at first but he thought it was the girl from SouthPaw a couple of weeks ago. Then when she stared his way he recognised her luscious brown locks and delicate smile completely. He couldn't quite believe his luck.

Suddenly he stopped just staring at her and spoke. "Buy you a drink?" was all he said.

"Errm…" Karen turned back to the table where she'd left Connor, his boyfriend had arrived and they were deep in conversation, hands entwined but forming animated actions, no doubt about his boyfriend's delayed journey. "Sure, why not?" She said.

The man motioned for two more drinks to the barman and then passed a tumbler of scotch to her after they were poured.

"I haven't seen you in here before have I?" he asked.

"It's not my local that's for sure," Karen replied, remembering the hard glares she'd received from the two Broadway girls after her karaoke performance earlier.

"Not an actress?" He asked.

"I'm not sure yet," she replied.

Up close she was even more beautiful than he had first thought. Derek was trying desperately to keep cool and appear aloof in her presence. But it was a struggle. He was in such a hideous mood until she had appeared beside him. Daisy was pissed at him for running late and missing her sing and not showing up with her. She'd shouted at him down the phone before finally telling him not to bother coming and that they were going out dancing and she didn't want him there.

But he'd not been far away so after not so eloquently telling Daisy to "do whatever the fuck she wanted" he'd walked to Table 46 anyway for a drink.

He made small talk with the beautiful creature next to him; they had moved to a nearby table and had successfully made it through another couple of round of drinks. She didn't say much but it wasn't uncomfortable. Her laugh was intoxicating and made him smile in turn.

She was talking about her friends antics earlier in the evening and how they'd move on to party hard at Break for the remainder of the evening when Derek noticed the bar winding down around them. He wondered how long they had been together. A guy came up to her and whispered in her ear something about getting home. She shrugged him off and said she'd grab a cab shortly. The boy and his partner left the bar and he knew it was now or never.

Derek deep down knew what he was about to do was wrong, he also knew there was absolutely no way he could stop himself. He hadn't felt attraction like he felt for this girl in a long time, if ever to the level he was at right now. And no amount of moral high ground, or mental debates could scupper his next move.

She was saying something he couldn't hear as he lean in suddenly and kissed her plump red lips. She froze for a second before pressing her lips into his.

She felt amazing. And he was ridiculous relieved she hadn't punched him in the face for his sudden move.

Her breath caught as his hand wound around her waist. After a couple of minutes it clicked in Derek's mind that being here, in Table 46 of all places, making out with this gorgeous girl was possibly a mistake.

But he couldn't stop now. She was intoxicating. She laughed gently as he stroked her side.

He grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the exit, pausing only for her to grab her purse and jacket from the stool next to her.

Karen didn't make a habit of picking up guys in bars, sure she liked to go out with Ana, get the attention of good looking males and flirt. But she struggled to move much further, and instead took phone numbers and ran off with her girlfriend. Only guys that intrigued her got a phone call sometime in the next week or so. Meanwhile, she almost immediately ruled out men that called her within 24 hours. There was no denying she was picky and judgemental.

But there was something about this man. She could barely form intellectual sentence in his presence. She felt incredibly nervous every time his eyes met hers yet the anticipation of his touch had her body screaming at her to move closer to him.

When he kissed her, she couldn't even move.

They were in the street now; he twirled her into him for another daring kiss. Her tongue traced his lips and he liked how brave she was being. He pushed his tongue passed her lips desperate to taste her. She hummed in response and he adored the sound.

He pulled back slightly and spoke, "Let's take this somewhere a little more private." He didn't know what was wrong with him, but he wanted her, now, more than he'd wanted anyone in his life.

The words pulled Karen back into reality. It wouldn't be the first one night stand she'd ever had. In fact, no strings attached was her favourite kind of sex. But there was something about this man. He intimidated her, but at the same time she was so desperately drawn to him. Normally she liked to choose a guy, but from the moment he'd turn to face her she couldn't resist him. And his lips took her breath away.

And if his kissing was anything to go by, the rest of her night would be fucking fabulous.

But it was his self-assurance, his slight but apparent arrogance, his flippant suggestion to go home with him that suddenly made her hit pause. He hadn't even asked for her name?

She felt almost dirty just at the thought of all the things she wanted this man to do to her right now. And it threw her just how much she wanted to jump in a cab with this stranger. And it wasn't just the effects of the alcohol that had her intoxicated.

Karen was starting to panic. The feelings pushing her into this were scaring her. What was wrong with her?

She took a second to think before making her final decision. She leaned into him, taking his ear lobe gently between her teeth, nibbling, before kissing his neck. His eyes were closed as she leaned up again and whispered in his ear.

"Not gonna happen," she said before pulling back from his grasp and turning abruptly on her heel, sauntering away down the street.

She didn't turn back to see his face, but just kept on walking. If she had, it would have amused her.

Derek's mouth hung open in pure shock at her dismissal. He stood with his arm still outstretched.

Then he also turned away and stormed in the opposite direction. He had no idea what to make of that, but he knew one thing for sure…he had to have more of that facisnating, stunning woman.

**A/N: High and dry indeed. Thanks for reading! More to come soon. Xx Sparks**


	7. Chapter 7 - The Right Regrets

**A/N: Hi guys. Thanks so much for your kind reviews. It's lovely to hear what your think. I feel I should say now that I am a huge CartWills fan; no other relationship makes sense to me! That being said, we all know it's a long road to happiness, and its pave with drama, angst and messy messy situations. So I suppose I'm saying I hope you got a nice thrilling fill of Karen/Derek-ness in the last chapter, because life is a bitch and it'd be no fun to read about them riding off into the sunset together anytime soon. But I'm hoping you want to watch this all play out, I know I do. I'm struggling to get it on page fast enough to keep up with my little fantasy Smash world. **

**Anyway, I'll shut up now and here's the next instalment. Enjoy!**

**Chapter Seven – The Right Regrets**

When Karen got home she shrugged off her jacket, grabbed a glass of water and downed it in two gulps, before heading to her bedroom. She didn't bother to remove the remnants of her wardrobe search early that evening from her bed; instead she pushed the piles of clothes to the side and curled up on the edge on top of the covers.

What the hell was that!

She had been berating herself all the way home. But she couldn't decide what she was angrier about: kissing a stranger in the middle of Table 46 after speaking to him for probably under an hour; or freaking out and running away from him when all she really wanted to do was follow him home and rip his clothes off.

God, obviously she just needed to get laid! That was the problem of coming out of a perfectly good relationship, the sex drought. Yes, he had been ridiculously hot. Good his upper arms were so defined and when he touched her, her skin tingled. But she didn't even get the guy's name.

"Seriously, what was that?" Karen whispered out loud to no one but herself.

She needed sleep, it was much later than she'd planned on departing the bar and her feet ached. She'd also had quite a bit to drink while drooling over the sexy, anonymous guy at the bar.

Karen made a decision as she flicked off her lamp and pulled what she could of the duvet over her still clothed body, she was going to rule the events of tonight up to temporary insanity brought on by too many drinks and not enough male attention.

She was not going to mention it to anyone either. In the back of her mind, she felt a bit slutty for her actions. She almost regretted it… only almost.

As her eyes closed and sleep surrounded her, Karen could still see his face in front of her. It had been an amazing kiss, she touched her lips, they were still swollen with the passion of his movements. Even though it was definitely wrong, and crazy, and stupid, she kind of wished she'd got his name.

* * *

Derek woke up early. He hadn't been able to sleep very well due to the multitude of thoughts running on a loop in his mind since the night before.

He had acted like such a monumental idiot; kissing some random girl in a bar frequented by his fiancé and all of her colleagues and friends – dumb move. He felt guilty, and foolish, but most of all he felt excited. He couldn't stop replaying the memory of her deep chocolate eyes when she looked up at him through thick lashes. And those plump, ruby red lips. They were soft and started timidly but had eventually met his with equal haste and determination. He had loved trailing his fingers down her spine and the way it made her pull him closer.

Derek groaned and staggered out of bed. Daisy was still snoring softly on the other side of him. She had gotten in before him in the end. But she'd given him the cold shoulder last night, refusing his attempts at an apology and fiercely shrugging of his attempts at anything else in the bedroom.

Luckily for him though, Daisy had no idea what he'd actually been up to last night. She was just annoyed still from their tiff on the phone and Derek's late and unenthusiastic attendance at Bobby's birthday party. He knew she'd get over it soon enough, if he acted overly apologetic today she'd suspect something else was wrong.

God, what had he been thinking.

Derek showered and in the process decided he'd been stupid, but it could have been much worse. He thought it best to push last night to one side, and pretend it didn't happen. It was best for everyone involved. Besides, he didn't even know that girl's name. That stunning, sexy woman. Even though he could definitely never see her again, whether he wanted to or not, and he had been reckless and almost ruined greater things in his life…Derek found he just couldn't bring himself to feel regret for his actions.

"Gah," he moaned. He needed to cut thoughts of her out of his head, now!

Derek got dressed, made coffee and spent some time going through his emails and voicemails. He was meeting Kyle Bishop and his writing partner Jimmy something today and Derek really hoped he wouldn't be disappointed it what they had to offer.

Around 11am, Daisy decided to get up and Derek decided to get out. He told her he had a meeting he needed to get to and kissed her cheek as she made coffee. She didn't kiss him back, but she didn't push him away either.

Derek reached the front door shrugging on his jacket before turning back towards Daisy. "Dinner tonight, my treat, you can pick anywhere you like," he said, none of it really a questions.

She looked over to him, hands cup around her mug, straight red hair tied back messily away from her face.

"Sure," Daisy relented. She couldn't be bothered to stay mad at him anymore. Her head was rather delicate from too many cocktails the night before and she didn't want to drag on a meaningless fight. "See you tonight."

With that Derek left the apartment, deciding to walk to Eileen Brand's office, where he'd arranged to meet Kyle. He hadn't really pre-warned the book writer that he would be meeting more than just an interested director today. If he was being honest, he wanted to see how well the guy would deal under pressure.

Kyle's scripts and track demos had piqued Derek's interest yes, but if they panned out into an actual, possible production pitch they'd need more people on board.

Eileen had recently separated from her producer husband and business partner Jerry Rand. She'd been in contact with Derek suggesting many ideas of productions they could team up on. The two were old friends after all and hadn't had a chance to collaborate in years. More importantly though Eileen was trying to prove herself. She was adamant that the world see that she didn't need her husband in order to be a successful producer.

After he decided to reach out to Kyle Bishop about the Brooklyn lad's musical, he'd given Eileen a call. He was excited and she could tell and in turn she was indeed interested in hearing more.

Derek reached the office building and made his way straight passed the downstairs receptionist and towards the elevator. The young woman behind the desk smiled his way, not questioning his intentions as she knew exactly who he was.

Derek pressed the button for the 13th floor and waiting for the lift to arrive; when it did he got in and rode up quickly to the floor he needed. It was Saturday and the building was mostly empty of workers for the weekend.

Derek knocked on the grand oak door in front of him and heard a woman's voice calling him in.

"Eileen, darling, how have you been?" Derek called out as he entered her office. Eileen rose from the chair behind her large, elaborate desk and met him half way across the room with a hug and peck on each cheek.

"Derek, it had been a while. Lovely to see you, you're looking well," Eileen gushed, her sparkly, dangling earrings swinging as she appraised his appearance still holding on to his shoulders. "I'm excited Derek, and I severely hope I won't be disappointed today. Where are our boys?" Eileen asked. Derek had told her what he knew about the two young Brooklyn musicians. She'd loved the demo tracks as well. Eileen needed a new project, but she wanted something fresh and vibrant to make her entrance back onto the theatre scene.

"They are meeting us hear, at 12…" Derek said glancing at his watch. "So they should be here any minute. And Eileen dear, you remember what I said on the phone right. I haven't even met them before so I make no promises to the standard of their work. I have the same information as you so far. But yes, I am also excited. Let's see what they have and then me and you, we'll discuss."

At that declaration the pair was interrupted by a knock on the door. Eileen answered in person this time. In walked two twenty-somethings: one in a scruffy leather jacket and converse sneakers and holding a battered looking apple mac laptop; the other dressed in a smart blazer with a large folder, with bits of paper spewing out of the sides tucked firmly under his arm.

"Hi Kyle Bishop, absolutely pleasure to meet you finally," the young lad with the folder addressed Derek as he entered, he then turned towards Eileen. "Ms Rand, also lovely to meet you. I didn't know you'd be here too, it's an honor. This is Jimmy Collins, my friend and writing partner."

The four greeted each other and all shook hands, Derek could practically feel the nerves emanating from Kyle as he spoke to him and the producer in the room. But so far he was rather charmed by the young lad.

After approximately an hour and half, having listened to Kyle and Jimmy both talk through their script and pitch for further development Eileen showed the two men out of her office with thanks and promises to be in touch shortly.

After closing the door she turned to face Derek, whose expression was unreadable, and smiled.

It took a few seconds while Derek contemplated what they could be getting themselves into – the writers we're barely out of college, they had next to no experience, but the ideas were strong and the talent obvious – eventually though, he smiled back.

Eileen walked over to the bureau in the corner of the office, sliding open the cabinet to reveal a crystal decanter, half full with a gloriously golden brown liquid. She poured the scotch out into two glasses and joined Derek once more. She handed him a glass.

"I've got a very good feeling about this Derek. Cheers, to us being reunited once again my darling," Eileen said as the two clinked glasses.

"Cheers my dear. We've got a ways to go, but do you know what I can't wait to see where we can take this," Derek replied.

* * *

As Kyle and Jimmy stepped back outside into the crisp, sweet air of downtown New York, Kyle took in a deep audible breath. The last 90 minutes had been intense, and he'd given it everything he could think of, yet he really had no idea how the meeting had gone.

Jimmy slung an arm around his friend's shoulder, "come on kid, nothing we can do now but wait, I'm late for work."

He guided Kyle down the street away from the office block they had just exited.

"It went okay right? You thought it went alright?" Kyle questioned as they walked.

"You, my friend, were brilliant. If they don't love us then more fool them," Jimmy answered, trying to keep positive and light for Kyle. Honestly he thought they were interested, but it was hard to tell whether they were interested enough to plough thousands of dollars into a workshop for their project. But he really, really hoped they did. It was going to be a long wait until the call came through telling them one way or another, where their fate lay for getting this musical show on the road.

**A/N: That's all for now folks. Please drop a line about how your feeling, what your wanting, and how much you're dying for some more Cartwills sexiness. Reviews make me smile at work when I get emails about them on dull days! Thanks for reading…xx Sparks**


	8. Chapter 8 - The Pretender

**A/N: Hi guys, first off thanks so much for your kind reviews! I'm really glad people are reading and enjoying. Secondly, I have been scrawling ideas like my life depends on it over the last few days. The chapters need some cleaning up now, but stay tuned…I have at least the next five chapters of this story in the works!**

**NB: In chapter three I stated Karen was 22, I have adjusted this to 23 for the sake of later details **

**Chapter Eight – The Pretender**

Derek had waited only 24-hours before calling Kyle to arrange a second meeting. He'd wanted to sleep on the ideas he'd heard, and he wanted some time with the latest script Kyle had to think through a few concepts on his own. But Derek had been pretty much convinced of his decision from the moment Kyle Bishop had begun to speak in that office.

There was something endearing about the two lads yes, but it was the passion in Kyle's voice had swung it. Derek missed that, the more famous he'd become, the more renown his skills, the more he'd moved up the totem pole of coveted Directors. People nowadays pitched him project after project of commercial crap. Occasionally there was a diamond among the rough, but it had been a while.

Derek had also been sure that he wanted to return to live theatre, the movie scene was great, and he'd mostly worked on New York-based productions in the last few years, which was a beautiful, challenging backdrop to work with, but Broadway was calling him home. Derek's first 'big' break had arrived in New York and taking him onto his very first Broadway stage. He had a few hit and miss projects in London previously, but it was the big apple that made him. He wasn't usually one to be sucked in by nostalgia – but the Great White Way trapped him every time.

Kyle had stuttered through their call. But the relief on each breath he took was entertaining. Derek hated the term making a person's dreams come true, people make their own worlds and shouldn't just wait for other people to make things happen, but he was enjoying sharing Kyle's journey so far.

Jimmy Collins was an entirely different story, he'd been polite yes, but slightly too arrogant for Derek's taste. But if he was being honest it was possibly because the attitude resonated to close to home with Derek. He practically invented the conceited brilliance routine.

Since that call Derek and the lads had met twice, once again with Eileen also. They'd bashed out some of the finer details of a contractual agreement to get started on the project.

It was always a long road to the success of Broadway, but Eileen was pushing them along at quite a pace. She'd secured a studio and booked out 12 weeks for workshop hours. This would their time to strike out a proper piece of art before, at the end of the three months, performing for a selected group of potential longer term investors. The workshop was vital to securing a future; Derek had pushed this fact upon Kyle and Jimmy with great force. He knew they were both green, too green perhaps for the speed Eileen wanted to take, and he needed them to be up to the challenge.

Their production needed a hell of a lot of work. They had a half way decent book, a dozen tracks that needed improvement, and gaping holes in the structure – but it wasn't all doom and gloom – what they did have though was a story to tell. One Derek knew people would want to hear, over and over. It was like a new-aged Romeo and Juliet, with a relatable male pseudo-hero, a tricky tale of growth and reinvention, edgy tracks, a modern vibe…and a girl.

The female lead was the key, Derek knew this already. He'd need someone incredible for this role. The boys were adamant they wanted to cast relatively unknown actors in the leads, Derek wasn't totally convinced but he was keeping an open mind.

They had decided to hold open auditions next week for the roles of Jesse and Amanda. It was a compromise. If they couldn't find exactly what they were looking for, Derek wanted to cast what they could and then revisit the situation when they had a bit more buy in from outside sources. If he was honest, he didn't think they'd find someone just right. But he wasn't chasing stars at this point in time with a half-assed script and a hell of a lot of work ahead.

Derek had been working in his home office. He heard the front door close, slam really, and he knew it must be Daisy. She'd been in the studio all day working on her second album. It was late, later than he'd realised. He assumed she'd been out with friends, and mulled over whether he should have text her and asked why she hadn't been home early. He felt a little bit remorseful having not even noticed her lack of presence until she was back again.

His fiancé was a pretty famous pop star. He often questioned how that had even happened. When they first met she was a backing dancer. They'd dated a bit but nothing serious, and they stopped making plans, he moved on, and Derek saw nothing of Daisy for well over a year.

Then, one day she was everywhere – or at least that's how it felt to Derek – she'd landed some record deal and her first single, something to do with being "the one", accompanied with an awful, flashy, neon-clad pop video, had been on every music TV station going. They'd bumped into each other at a couple of award events that year. She'd propositioned him a number of times, before Derek finally relented.

He'd liked her new found confidence and before long they were an item, pictures of them sprawled across many a gossip rag. In the beginning the time they spent together was a whirlwind of parties and glamour. Then the down time came, both of them between projects and Derek felt like he really got to know Daisy. They even went as far as introducing each other to their respective families.

Daisy was a beautiful woman: pure, alabaster skin, striking red hair – surprisingly natural in its colour. She was slender and toned from her dancing background.

Before he really knew it, they'd been together a year and Daisy had moved in. Their lives were intertwined deeply. Derek hadn't felt the desperate need to proposition his girlfriend. It had just sort of happened…and she'd said yes. And his first thought was SHIT!

And here he was, avoiding his own life and diving into work to keep things that way. He knew something between them wasn't truly working. But this was his life, he had chosen it, now he needed to ride it out. Maybe it was laziness, but mostly it was fear; fear of the unknown. Derek was 37 this year. He was really getting too old to play the bachelor routine.

And he had been content, until two weeks ago when that illusive brunette planted her heart-shaped, perfect lips upon his.

Derek sighed, pulled at his hair and closed his laptop. He needed sleep now. It was late. The auditions began on Monday, it was Saturday…well the wee hours of Sunday now.

Much later today he had to accompany his fiancé to a fundraiser. And no doubt she'd be tired and pissy at him all day.

Derek made his way to bed. He'd washed up, changed and got under the covers when Daisy entered the bedroom. He smiled at her, again feeling a little bit shit about his poor attentiveness. She walked over to the bed, clambering in on his side. He shuffled over and wrapped her in his arms. She talked through her day, the drama in the studio, having to meet Ivy (her best friend) to deal with whatever boyfriend drama she had. Derek half-listened and stroked his hand up and down her spine.

And bam, those lips flashed before his eyes.

He remembered how warm her skin had felt to his touch. How she'd tensed upon his touch, but still pushed against him for more.

He remembered that moment as he watched her walk away.

And then he remembered his was in bed with his fiancé and dreaming about another girl. What the fuck was wrong with him? Daisy paused and Derek took the opportunity to lean down and kiss her lips. He needed new memories, of the right woman, in his head.

Daisy turned in his arms. Straddling his hips and returning his kiss with zest. And Derek accepted all she gave him.

**A/N: There you have it. Derek is on the edge of being in deep trouble, cue…AUDITIONS. More to come soon. Please leave a little note and let me know what you're thinking so far Tanks a bunch for reading. Love Sparks Xx**


	9. Chapter 9 - Soon as I get Home

**A/N: Hi Guys, thanks for coming back for another dose of RISK!**

**So, I chose to have Derek with Daisy and not Ivy in this story because I find it a lot easier to hate Daisy – apparently the feeling is mutual. Poor Daisy is getting a lot of hate in reviews. You CARTWILLS fans don't have a lot of patience :P haha. Karen and Derek haven't even exchanged first names yet! Here's chapter nine…enjoy.**

**Chapter Nine – Soon as I get Home**

Karen was almost home and she felt exhausted and wanted nothing more than a warm shower and her soft bed. She'd signed into her last minute contract to work as a dancer/extra on America's Got Talent the day after getting the proposal. She'd been through the two weeks of full on rehearsals and would begin dancing in the live shows this weekend.

Her schedule was heavy between dance rehearsals, shows and her part-time job at the café. But she was enjoying the work. It had been far too long. Even if the show she was currently a part of involved terribly cheesy routines in very bright clothing, she was still having fun. She'd managed to make a couple of friends so far too, which was always nice when you were the late comer into a group.

She hadn't seen much of Ana, Kyle or Jimmy over the last couple of weeks though and she was missing the time she usually spent with them. Kyle and Jimmy were completely tied up in their own production, Karen still couldn't quite believe what was happened for her best friends, and it was beyond normal comprehension still sometimes that they were actually getting their show on the road.

The boys had spent a lot of time working on contracts with their new producer Eileen Rand, and with the director that first contacted them. Karen new they were holding auditions starting next week for the lead roles in the show. Karen was so proud of Jimmy, of them both. She wished they all had a bit more time to enjoy it together.

But AGT wouldn't last forever; she only had four weeks' worth of shows after all. Unless she made the cut for the live tour season, but decisions for that were a while off.

Ana was auditioning next week for Jimmy and Kyle, though Karen knew her friend wasn't optimistic about landing the lead. Kyle had gently tried to warn her that Derek was incredibly aware of what he wanted in the part and had already been ridiculously dismissive of suggestions from others. Ana was going to give it a shot though, and hoped that should it not come through this time she would perhaps get into the ensemble.

Surely, Jimmy and Kyle could ask for that Karen thought. It wasn't like Ana wasn't more than qualified for it.

Kyle had asked why Karen wasn't auditioning too. He had cornered her the other night when she got in from work, but Karen reminded him that she was contractually tied up for the next four weeks at least and Derek Wills was pushing the workshop through quickly. The production was booked in the studio to begin work in two weeks' time.

She did however promise that she'd drop her resume in for the ensemble as they would hopefully consider her for that at a slightly later date, preventing any conflicts in her timetable. Kyle was sceptical Karen's only reasoning was time constraints though, for this massive opportunity.

As Karen entered the apartment she saw Jimmy sprawled on the couch and it made her smile. Without being too emotional and soppy, Karen had lived with Jimmy for years before deciding to get her own space with Ana. She was very accustomed to speaking to him each and every day, and lately they just hadn't had time to catch up.

"Hey you," she said closing the door behind her. "No Awn?"

Jimmy sat up and swung his legs over to rest on the floor rather than the arm of the chair.

"She went out with Bobby and Jess for a bit. I wasn't really feeling it tonight," Jimmy replied.

Karen took to seat next to him, pulling her feet up and her knees close to her chest, facing him rather than sitting side by side.

"How are you?" Jimmy said, reaching out absent-mindedly to touch her leg.

"Tired, but good. Rehearsals went well and I'm looking forward to tomorrow night. I'm a little bit terrified though, I've never done live TV. Which I know sounds ridiculously because theatre is always live. But in a theatre, I don't know, I feel more at home. The stage we're performing on tomorrow is huge. And instead of a couple of hundred people there's going to be a couple of million watching! And if I make a massive fool of myself, I'll end up being a youtube joke for ever," Karen rushed out, I a slightly panicked tone.

"You'll be amazing," Jimmy said without hesitation. "You always are," he added softly and she looked up into his eyes and saw him smiling.

"I miss you," Karen whispered, grabbing Jimmy's hand in hers.

Jimmy and Karen had a long history. It was complicated to say the least and they all pretty much avoided referring to their past at all times. Ana knew about her two friends close relationship and it had taken her little while to process but she was okay with it.

Karen remembered Ana explaining her worries and eventual resolution to her. She had said that it intimidated her, the history Jimmy and Karen had. It had prevented Ana saying yes to Jimmy's propositions of a date for quite some time. Ana didn't want to add to the already complicated dynamics. But both Karen and Jimmy had adamantly informed her that there was nothing between them now, or would there ever be again, other than friendship.

Ana had told Karen that she believe them. After all they could have been a couple, they lived together, they spent every waking moment together for a long time, and they had in the past been romantically linked in a way that suited them both. But they had never been the couple that Jimmy and Ana were now, just five months in to their relationship. They didn't function well as partners; Karen and Jimmy were too close. They weren't good for each other in that way.

So Ana had relented and given Jimmy a shot.

"I miss you too Small Fry," Jimmy replied using a nickname he'd had for Karen since they were younger. He opened his arms to her and Karen crawled up close time him and settled with her chin on his chest.

"This is exactly what I needed. Can we not move now, like ever?" she yawned.

Jimmy reached for the remote, flicking through channels on the TV before settling on one of the free access movie stations. There was some old movie playing, it was grainy and the acting was exaggerated and enjoyable.

He didn't know what film it was, nothing immediately recognisable for sure, but it didn't matter. The two friends were sleepy and comfortable and ready to do nothing but just be together for the evening.

"There's nowhere I need to be tonight. I'm all yours," he spoke down to the girl nestle under his arm.

"Good," Karen replied.

The two of them spent the rest of the evening chatting intermittently about their work and plans for the next few weeks. They laughed about Kyle's near neurotic behaviour over preparations for the auditions next week and Jimmy vented about the director. He wasn't Derek's biggest fan it seemed.

"He's obnoxious!" Jimmy complained.

Karen laughed gently.

"But he is pretty brilliant. Which just results in pissing me off further," Jimmy sighed. "But, hey, what's a man to do?"

"I need to meet this guy sometime, he's involved far too much in our day to day conversations for me to be so oblivious to who he is," Karen pointed out.

"I'm sure you will do soon enough, and you'll hope you hadn't," Jimmy replied. "We're getting you in this with us, you know that right. Kyle and I do get some say and why would we skip the opportunity to employ such a talent in our chorus," Jimmy chuckled. He wanted Karen in this with them. She'd inspired 80% if not more of his work after all.

"Ensemble, learn the terminology boy," Karen chastised, slapping his chest playfully.

Their movie ended and not long after Ana arrived home. She stood in the doorway, head tilted to one side.

"Awww, you two are too cute," Ana sighed.

"Get over here Pixie," Karen called to her friend, which resulted in Ana bounding over and curling up in a three way hug.

"Right I'm off to bed guys, big day tomorrow after all," Karen stood from the couch, stretched out her limbs and turned towards to hallway. "Night, love you both," she blew them a kiss and Jimmy and Ana bid her goodnight in return.

"Jesus Christ, this is a nightmare," Derek whined as the last girl of the day auditioning for the role of Amanda in their still unnamed production left the room.

"You're so melodramatic. It's only the first day, we've got two more yet before you need to start getting you panties in a bunch," Julia Huston said to the irate director in the seat next to her.

They were in the casting room and the pianist was packing up for the day.

Behind a long desk full of headshots and notebooks sat Jimmy, Kyle, Eileen, Derek and a few other less familiar faces.

Derek had bought in Julia, a very talent playwright, New York local, and close friend of his. He had wanted her second opinion and invited the woman to consult on the production with him.

Julia was four months pregnant and therefore unwilling to dive into a big project right now. But the part-time offer from Derek suited her down to the ground. She was unable to quit the theatre cold-turkey and the consulting/ executive producing offer was a beautiful compromise. She was also enthralled by the script he'd shown her. Kyle and Jimmy had won her heart already with their work and she wanted in on what would likely be a fantastic show.

The workshop would run for 12 weeks, just the right length for Julia's involvement before she planned on finally succumbing to maternity leave.

Her fiancé Michael, an actor on Broadway himself had agreed to the plan. He knew he was going to have a hard time though at the end of the three months, prying Julia away from the production. Derek had promised Michael if he could have her now, he would be sure to kick her out later if she broke her promise to quit.

Derek and Michael had been good friends for years, since the latter played a feature role on a show his British friend had directed around six years ago.

The other members of the creative team who had been observing the auditions that day included choreography Josh Bergasse and Derek's stage manager Linda Harada.

"What about Ana Vasquez?" Kyle asked from his end of the table. "I've stated that she's a friend, just so we're all on the same page, but I liked what she showed us today. She's got the sassiness we need in Amanda."

Derek though back to the small girl with purple/black hair they'd seen early in the day. He found her picture on the table in front of him re-read her résumé on the back.

"She was by far the best of the day I'll admit," he sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. It had been a long and trying day. "Nonetheless, I'm not convinced of her right now. There was something missing. Amanda is a complex character, she's sassy and fierce yes, but she's also desperately lonely, afraid of failure and trapped by her past decisions. I need to see more in a girl than what I saw in anyone of those actresses today."

Kyle couldn't help but agree slightly with the Brit. But his loyalty wouldn't let him completely.

"Perhaps we bring her in again. See what else she's got?" Jimmy suggested.

"Maybe…" Derek hesitated.

"Let's see what tomorrow brings," Eileen piped in, always the voice of the middle ground. She spent the majority of her time making sure the field being played on by big shot theatre pro direct, and green team newcomers Kyle and Jimmy, remained level.

"We have another friend who I think would be prefect for Amanda," Kyle started, "She's currently dancing on America's Got Talent but I'm sure we could get her in to audition…"

"A backing dancer, are you kidding? No chance," Derek interrupted the young writer. "I know we agreed on unknown, fresh faces but please, don't make me laugh."

The venom in Derek's voice at his suggestion made Kyle stop talking. He didn't want to embarrass himself, Derek knew what he was talking about, and he knew what they needed. Even if it had always been Karen Kyle had pictured when he wrote the scenes.

The team called it a day and would reconvene in the studio in the morning. They'd agreed to three days of casting for the male and female leads. Tomorrow, they would be seeing another round of girls for the part of Amanda. Day three, they would be cramming in seeing many guys for the role of Jesse. Then Derek wanted a short list of both actors and actresses for a paired read through. The chemistry between the leads was vital, and without either cast at the moment, Derek was struggling to feel the mood of the script.

He wanted to get his teeth into this production over the 12 week workshop but he needed a decent cast and soon.

Derek was using this week's casting to also look out for actors for the smaller side roles, specifically Jesse's sister, the Diva, and a few other characters on the musical list of revenge the lead characters keep in the play.

The team was swiftly emptying the room with shouts of farewell. Derek was the last to leave. He turned off the lights and closed the door, hoping that tomorrow would bring him some one inspiring at least.

**AN: Poor Kyle. Let's hope he shows Derek Wills a thing or two soon about what he knows and can do. Hope you all enjoyed chapter nine. Come back for more soon. Chapter ten might even bring with it that moment I know you're all waiting for… WILL CARTWILS MEET AGAIN? Have to wait and see ;) Xx Sparks **


	10. Chapter 10 - I heard Your Voice

**AN: Hi guys. Thanks so much for your feedback in reviews so far. Your words mean a lot and it's encouraging that people are coming back for more of my story. Please continue to do so. Lots more to read! I promise. **

**Also I have FINALLY gotten to writing the chapter that I've been picturing since I started this story...so look out for chapter sixteen when it comes. I've got up to there but just proofing and editing stuff. But the point of mentioning is: CARTWILLS fans tune in for 16. I hope you'll love it as much as I loved writing it.**

**For now here's chapter ten… enjoy!**

**Chapter Ten – I heard your Voice in a Dream**

"Thanks for coming in," Jimmy called to the five foot nothing blonde who was exiting the studio door. It was almost midday and so far day two of auditions had not bought with it anything too exciting. The process was being crammed into a very short space of time for sure, but that didn't mean they were limiting their options for casting. Jimmy and Kyle had sat in on what must be nearly twenty five auditions over the last day and a half; and this was already a shortlist Derek and Josh (who was moonlighting as casting director) had cut based on the abundance of résumés they'd received from agents.

"I thought she was impressive," Kyle piped up from his position one from the end of the table. Julia who sat to his left on the end nodded in agreement. She leaned forward to see Derek's face. "I could see potential there, great song choice too," Julia added.

Derek was stony-faced as usual, his expression concrete and unreadable.

"She's worth a second look maybe," he conceded. "We'll note her down with Ana and Lux from yesterday. What was her name again?" He chuckled.

"Derek, god you can be such a prick!" Eileen burst out from the other end of the table. "Emily, her name was Emily, you conceited git. Remember that please." Eileen was joking, mostly. She'd never be shy of telling it like it is, especially to Derek flipping Wills.

"I'm not blown away still…" Derek drawled.

"What do you even want? Do you actually know?" Jimmy said exasperated. He'd liked a couple of the girls from today, but Derek had shut down his attempts of pushing their profiles each time.

Derek threw down his pen and was just about to give Jimmy a good talking to when suddenly Linda interrupted. "And that's lunch. We'll reconvene at 1pm. We've got six girls lined up this afternoon." With that she stood from the table and the others took heed, swiftly exiting the room before anything could kick off at the table between director and composer.

Kyle approached Derek as the older man was shuffling his notes and grabbing his jacket to take a break.

"Derek, I just wanted to ask again, I know you said no before…"Kyle was stuttering and stalling. He wanted Derek to give Karen a chance. She was everything Kyle thought they needed and he knew she would audition if he really, desperately pushed her into it.

He wasn't sure why she'd avoided it any way. In his opinion, them all getting a chance to work together on their own production would be a dream come true. He knew there was the worry of being too close and it causing problems on a personal level should conflict arrive in the work, but he knew Derek would whip them into shape over that. Besides, they were far too good friends for anything to drastically affect them.

Kyle could only assume Karen was worried about working so closely with Jimmy. Karen hadn't actually said anything, but with half the play being inspired by the complicated past Jimmy and her shared, it wouldn't be a huge leap to say she'd rather not relive it on stage.

But they needed someone to impress the almighty Derek Wills, and soon, or Kyle was worried the man would begin to lose interest, or even worse, lose faith in their show.

"Spit it out Kyle," Derek said rudely, he wasn't a man to beat around the bush and having spent the best part of the last few weeks now with Kyle, he knew the younger man could take it.

"Karen, our friend, the dancer I mentioned…"

"Seriously Kyle, I don't have time for this. I hardly think some wanna be spice girl currently shaking her ass on TV for the whole country to see is the beautiful, sultry siren were seeking. Can she even sing?" Derek spun around to face Kyle.

The younger man suddenly felt defensive over his friend.

"She's a phenomenal singer, she just needs someone to give her a chance to show that, in something like our show, and she'll be the next big thing on Broadway, you mark my words. I think you're being a bit of a stubborn, arrogant jackass dismissing my opinion and enthusiastic suggestion. Also, that was rude; she's a great dancer as are many of the performers on AGT who are friends or acquaintances of mine." Kyle was getting mad, he very rarely got mad, but right now Derek had pissed him off.

Derek was mildly impressed, even if right now Kyle looked slightly like a defensive took a breath before responding.

"Well, I kind of like you more when you get a bit mad." Derek teased.

Before he could say any more Jimmy joined the conversation. "Chill out Kyle," he said patting his friend on the shoulder with one hand while taking a large bite out of the apple he was holding in the other. "Besides Derek, you've heard Karen sing. She did the demo recording for Broadway." Jimmy said nonchalantly before continuing across the studio to the exit.

"WHAT!" Derek shouted to Jimmy's retreating form. He turned to Kyle. "Why the hell didn't you start with that information you prat?" He continued, smacking Kyle lightly upside the head.

"Ow, I thought I said that, did I not say that yesterday…" Kyle stammered.

Derek has assumed the boys would have mentioned the girl had she been available, suitable and interested in the role. To be honest he'd expected them to bring her in first thing. That's why, when they hadn't mentioned the anonymous song bird, he didn't either. He just assumed she wasn't an actress.

"Can you get her in here this afternoon I want to meet her," Derek demanded.

Kyle looked shock, and was about to reply with a resounding yes when Jimmy beat him to it. "I'll give her a call," with that he left the room.

"Seriously Kyle, she better be good now," Derek joked. He knew she could sing already, but he needed to know what else she could bring to the table. This day for him had taken a whole new turn. He was quite excited to get back to it. He felt a little bit guilty for shooting Kyle down yesterday, if he'd been a bit more approachable the guy probably would have got the important information to him then.

Oops, he thought, as he walked away from Kyle to go and grab a coffee.

"Alright Cartwright, what you up to right now?" Jimmy said as Karen picked up her phone. He was in the alley behind the studio building having a smoke. He paused tapping his boots on an empty crate to the side of where he stood. "The infamous Mr Wills has requested your presence in the studio within the next few hours," jimmy laughed at his friend who replied with a slightly vulgar statement that would make a sailor blush.

"What time can you get out of rehearsals?" he asked her. Jimmy had run over in his mind many times the idea of Karen playing the lead in the show. He was adamant they should go with a fresh young cast and she would be perfect. But they didn't always play nice together even though they loved each other dearly. Also, without coming off too sly and abhorrent he was worried about the future. If Karen got the role, and by some twist of fate they actually pulled this thing off and made it on to a New York stage she would be open and exposed to a whole new level of criticism and scrutiny. And that could cause them problems later down the line when journalists were hammering for details of their lives.

He was probably worrying over nothing though. He'd made sure this wouldn't and couldn't happen. They would be fine.

Karen disrupted him from his internal debate.

"Of course I want you in this. It would be a genius compilation, you, me and Kyle. Why would you even be worried about that?" Jimmy replied to her questions. "See you around 4 o'clock then. I love you, you crazy thing. Don't make your story too elaborate to get out of work early, we all know you can never remember what you've said when questioned about it later," Jimmy warned her in jest.

For an actress, Karen could be an awful liar when put on the spot, or maybe that was just with Jimmy. When they were kids, Karen used to come up with wild, long-winded excuses rather than just a simple "I'm late home because in missed the bus" or something. She had a crazy imagination but her stories lost their believability when she forgot all about it later on.

He finished his cigarette and headed back into the building. He stopped at the coffee cart to grab a cup of black machine made liquid. It was pretty bad, but tolerable. He was the last to return to the table in the studio. The other members of the creative team were already congregated around the desks, chatting.

"Karen will be here at 4-ish, can we fit her in this afternoon?" Jimmy asked nobody in particular.

"Linda?" Derek responded, his stage manager flipped through her timetables, made a few scribblings and then left the room to consult with the guy outside the door who had been showing people in all day.

She came back into the room pretty soon after though and nodded to Jimmy and Derek. "Right, shall we get back to it then," Derek said, clapping his hands together as he took his seat.

Derek was becoming increasingly impatient as the afternoon progressed. He was intrigued by the girl Jimmy had arranged to come in. He'd wanted to be able to put a face to the voice he could still hear in his head ever since he'd played that track from his laptop.

Deano, the guy running the audition schedule for them opened the studio door, and they all looked over to him.

"Karen Cartwright hasn't arrived yet, so Ms Ivy Lynn is up next guys," he informed them. Derek looked for Ivy's headshot as she entered the room. Ivy was a good friend of Daisy's, as such Derek knew her quite well. She would often be over at the apartment or would join Derek and his fiancé for dinner, when Daisy arranged awkward double dates for them to go on. Ivy, he knew, didn't have an awful lot of luck with men. She had a different date for every time Derek crossed paths with her at events and occasions.

"Afternoon Ivy," he greeted her, the blonde girl smiled and waved to Derek then took her position next to the piano. Ivy had been in the business a while, but mainly in ensemble roles. Derek couldn't remember seeing her in anything major recently though.

"When you're ready…" Derek waved his hand towards her to proceed.

Ivy sang Bittersweet Symphony by the Verve. It was a great audition and she had a fantastic voice. But Derek couldn't really place her as Amanda; the obvious problem to him was her age. Amanda was young, and very naïve at the start of the show, Ivy just didn't give off that vibe. Still, she'd been the most experienced actress they'd seen so far, considering they had put a call out for unknown/ unsigned actors only.

"Thank you Ivy," Derek said when she finished. He could hear muttering from the people around him, mostly of appreciation for her voice and theatre expertise.

Karen was waiting in the hallway; she'd got stuck at work resulting in her running a bit late. The arrangements were so last minute though she'd hoped they wouldn't hold that against her. She'd had next to no time to prepare for this and had only just managed to get changed before leaving her dance studio across the city.

Whoever was currently in the casting room sounded impressive, Karen recognised the song and admired the choice. She was now second guessing her own song pick. She hadn't wanted to come in and sing a track from the production even though she knew them all well. She didn't want to flaunt her connection to Jimmy and Kyle in front of the other members of the casting team.

The door opened and the blonde girl she'd seen giving her dirty looks at Bobby's birthday party the other week exited the room. Karen went to step to the side and so did she. They were stuck in an awkward two-step for a few seconds before the blonde girl just huffed and pushed passed her.

Great start Karen thought, she was really nervous. She didn't want to let they guys down. She also desperately hoped they hadn't made any promises about her abilities to the rest of the casting team. The guy at the door waved her up and announced her name as she entered.

"Hi guys, sorry I'm a little late, I got stuck across town," she said quickly as she crossed the room to the pianist in the corner, handing over her song sheets.

Derek looked up from writing a few quick memos regarding Ivy's performance in his notebook. He felt like the world suddenly froze around him. He caught her eyes with his across the room as she retreated from the piano.

She was dressed in a simple black dress with lace at the collar and a rough denim jacket. Her bouncy brown curls swung around her shoulders. Her makeup was very light and she appeared slightly flushed, the pink in her cheeks enamouring.

Derek had to remind himself to breathe for a second and hoped Linda and Josh who sat on either said of him didn't notice his knee shaking with excitement and anticipation. She had a look of confusion and surprise on her face, but just as quickly as it appeared, a smile replaced her shock. She pulled her gaze from his and instead glanced up and down the table at the faces of those watching her.

He couldn't believe it was her stood in front of him. The girl who had been keeping him awake at night and taunting his idol thoughts ever since that night at Table 46. He'd had her gentle voice, that accent he just couldn't pin down, running on repeat in his head.

This was the girl he'd been so wrapped up in he'd almost thrown everything away in a moment of stupidity, as he'd leaned in and kissed her soft lips at that bar. The girl who had touched his face gently in moment but pulled on his hair roughly as she kissed him back. The very fucking girl who had lent in to kiss his neck and then point blank refused him and waltzed away.

Jimmy's voice pulled Derek from his stupor. He'd forgotten he probably should have said something by now.

"No problem, thanks for coming over at the last minute Karen," Jimmy smiled at her. Kyle was also beaming.

Karen. Derek toyed with the word in his head. He'd been desperate to put a name and face to voice of the girl on that demo, he just never dreamed that at the same time he'd be able to pair up a name to that anonymous beauty he had encountered.

Karen. He liked it.

Derek finally remembered how to form words with his tongue.

"Well hello Karen, how refreshing," he wanted her to look at him again but she wouldn't hold his gaze now. "What have you got for us then?" he asked her.

He liked her like this, dressed down and pure. She had stunning alabaster skin that was set off by her shock of dark hair. He enjoyed the natural look she bought today. He wondered whether she'd intentionally played it down or if it was just from lack of time to prepare.

Either way he enjoyed her no-shit attitude and that she felt no need to dress to impress. Not that he didn't enjoy how she looked the other night; he could quite easily and very fondly recall her sexy red dress and platform heels. Both of which made her legs look like they went on for days.

Derek quickly snapped himself out of those thoughts. This was not the time or place.

Karen didn't answer his question but instead nodded to the pianist to begin to play. She took a desperate look at Jimmy, who just nodded her way, before taking a deep breath and opening her mouth to sing the first notes.

**AN: OOOOOOKAAAY… so Derek has finally found the girl who has been taunting his dreams. Let's see what he makes of that shall we? Will she be enough to impress him in the studio as well as on the street? Come back for more soon xx Sparks. Please review and let me know what you think so far!**


	11. Chapter 11 - Grin and Bear it

**AN: YES, that's Derek Freaking Wills watching and waiting…**

**As always thanks so much for reading and reviewing. Enjoy the newest chapter of Risk! **

**Chapter Eleven – Grin and Bear it**

Karen had been caught in a moment of complete and utter shock. She couldn't figure out what he was doing there. Why they hell was he sat at that table with Jimmy and Kyle? How did they know each other? Why did she not know they were familiar?

She couldn't keep looking directly at him, for one Jimmy would question her actions later. Also, his eyes were making her nervous and she really couldn't afford to fuck this up right now. She mentally berated herself and managed to regain some composure, inside though she was a furious ball of energy about to explode with fear and misunderstanding.

When he addressed her formally everything dramatically fell into place in her mind, like when she waited tables at the café and took one too many plate and lost balance and they all went clattering down – shattering into indistinct pieces. All she could think was "NO FUCKING WAY!" She imagined the look on her face was much like an overly animated cartoon character with its eyes bulging out of its head.

He was Derek Wills. The Derek Wills. The guy Kyle had obsessed over for like ever.

It wasn't a giant leap to put together that any guy she met in Table 46 would be involved in some capacity in theatre. Most of the souls who haunted that bar were someway entangled with the Great White Way. But how could she have royally fucked things up so badly and not have even known about? It was beyond her.

She just hoped he continued to pretend like they'd never laid eyes on each other before. All Karen needed was to get through this audition. She could deal with the fallout later. She just needed to sing and escape, she could grin and bear it and get through the moment.

With that she avoided answering his question on her song choice, not trusting her own voice to speak directly to him, and instead nodded to pianist to start playing. And she sang.

She'd picked Beautiful by Christina Aguilera. It was a song she thought resonated with the character Amanda. The girl was desperate to be someone else, but in the story when she finally gets there she realises she was happier being herself. It's hard to be someone else, keep up the façade forever. Life means a lot more when you are brave enough to just be who you are. Karen felt it fitted with Amanda's journey in a way.

Nobody spoke after she ended the final note. The room was silent. Karen hated this moment in auditions, when all eyes were on her, just as herself. She wasn't playing a part right now; she just wanted to show the casting group the parts of Amanda she had within her ready to pull forward.

To end the silence Jimmy clapped lightly and Kyle joined in. Derek was still just staring at her and it was making her freak out a little bit. Finally Eileen Rand, the producer of the Kyle and Jimmy's show, spoke up. "Thanks Karen, that was great. Thank you for coming in at such late notice. We'll be in touch," Eileen said. Karen took that as her cue to leave the room. She retrieved her music from the pianist and muttered thanks as she left the room.

The door swung shut behind her and she grabbed her stuff from where she'd left it on a chair in the hallway. She was walking towards the elevator when she heard Jimmy shout her name. There were two girls still sat in the seats that lined the narrow passage way and they stared at the exchange between Jimmy and Karen. He jogged to meet her and after noticing that they were being watched, he grabbed her hand and dragged her into an empty room opposite them.

"Jimmy what, what's wrong?" Karen was confused by his actions and terrified Derek had said something when she left the room. The door closed loudly behind them and as Karen turned to face her best friend suddenly he swooped down and grabbed her into a tight hug.

Karen didn't know what was wrong with her but the moment Jimmy's arms enclosed her smaller frame she felt tears running down her face. She almost never cried, and she especially hated crying in front of anyone. It was embarrassing her right now more than usual because she didn't even know why the tears were streaming down her cheeks.

She put it down to the mixture of nerves and the intense performance and the fear of disappointing Jimmy and Kyle, then on top of that seeing Derek again. She'd resigned herself that she would never see that man again and it had thrown her through a loop to find him sat so comfortably behind that desk. The moment of sheer relief when Jimmy pulled her aside just made her crack. She furiously wiped away her tears when he released her. Jimmy always knew what she needed and almost how she was feeling even before she did.

"You were amazing. But you looked terrified. I thought I'd check you were okay Chip," Jimmy said gently, passing her a tissue from his back pocket.

"I don't know why I was so nervous. It was probably just the immediacy, I didn't really have time to process I was walking into a proper audition and seeing you and Kyle, I didn't want to let you down," Karen mumbled, she'd managed to pull herself together again as quickly as she'd fallen apart.

"You're an idiot sometimes, you were extraordinary. They loved you I know it," Jimmy said softly to her. "Derek couldn't take his eyes of you," Jimmy added the sentence in passing but there was an edge to his voice she didn't like and desperately needed to change the subject.

"Shouldn't you get back in there, I don't want them to think I'm this high maintenance," Karen laughed.

"Shit, yeah I better go. I'll come over later tonight, it might be quite late though before I get out of here," Jimmy hugged her again and Karen nodded and said she'd see him tonight.

With that he bolted out the door again, jogging back to the studio he should have been in. Karen avoided looking towards the other girls in the corridor as the turned for the elevator, pressing the button multiple times in a vain attempt to make the thing speed up. A chime of a bell announced the elevator's arrival and Karen pushed through the doors. When they slid shut she leaned back against the mirror behind her and took a deep breath.

Derek Wills, she'd got drunk and made out with Dereck freaking Wills of all people. She was dead; Kyle was actually going to kill her if he found out. How could she even contemplate working with him for a twelve week workshop and longer when she couldn't stop thinking about his hand on her spine and in her hair and the taste of his kiss?

She was so dead.

* * *

By the time Jimmy came over to Karen and Ana's apartment that night Karen had managed to calm down and pull herself together. She was now just frustrated with herself for having a ridiculous breakdown earlier in the day. She could handle this; she just needed a few hours to re-teach herself the laws of perspective. She'd landed on the most obvious solution to her current predicament – do nothing. The likelihood of the creative team calling her back in, and then even if that happened, actually offering her the role were slim to non-existent. All she had to do was get a grip and sit back and let life sort itself out for her.

There was a high probability she'd never have to face Derek Wills again. And if she did, as he was involved in her best friends work so closely, she'd have plenty of time to mentally prepare and wouldn't be caught off guard again like today.

Jimmy let himself in with the spare key Karen and Ana had given to him not long after Karen moved in. "Honey I'm home," he announced, shutting the door behind him.

"That's nice honey, but Ana isn't yet," Karen called to him, chuckling from her position on the couch. She took a swig of the beer she'd been nursing for the last hour, while she'd been contemplating the impending disaster that was her life – okay a bit melodramatic but she was wallowing.

"Huh, I thought she was heading straight home today," Jimmy paused, texting Ana from his iPhone to see where she had gotten to, while also hopping around pulling his shoes off without bothering to untie the laces. "How are you now anyway?" he asked, shoving his phone back in his pocket and heading straight to the kitchen area to help himself to a beer from the fridge. He popped the cap with the bottle opener magnet the girls kept on the fridge door before slumping down next to Karen on the couch.

"I'm good now, thanks for before, now let's never mention how much of a pathetic drama queen I was ever again…to anyone," Karen replied in a tone that said yes, I'm-brushing-this-off-as-a-joke-but-seriously-I-don't-want-to-talk-about-it. She also gave Jimmy a threatening stare warning him off the subject. "So can you put me out of my misery early, did they make a decision?" Karen asked, changing the subject.

"I can't tell you anything at the moment other than its still in deliberation, and even if I did know what Derek was thinking, it would all be under wraps you know that," Jimmy replied.

"I know," Karen said in a sing-song voice. "But you can't blame a girl for trying. Seriously, when do the perks of having an 'in' with the creative team start kicking in?" Karen laughed.

"Oh, I can tell you that we aren't casting for the role of Jesse tomorrow now," Jimmy said as he leant over her to steal the remote control to change station from the horrendous TV show Karen had been watching; some awful faux-reality drama about a bunch of posh rich kids in some town near London, England.

"What, how come?" Karen asked, as she gently punched her friend in the shoulder for changing station, even though she'd only been half watching the television any way. Jimmy explained to her that after they'd seen all the girls audition that afternoon Derek had decided he definitely wanted to cast the role of Amanda first and use the chosen girl to find their Jesse. He said the chemistry was vital, so they would read with potential male choices. They had a much shorter list of potential actors for Jesse than they had for Amanda anyway. He also told her that Derek wanted the whole team to sleep on the shortlist they had drawn up that afternoon and tomorrow they would be arranging callbacks.

"So at least you haven't got such a long wait to hear the almighty director's decision on your fate. Thank god for that though, because Ana will be pestering me for details until she knows the outcome for sure!" Jimmy said as her phone began to buzz. He pulled it from the pocket of his jeans, glancing briefly at the caller ID before answering.

"Hey love, where have you gotten to?" he asked Ana who was on the other end of the line.

"Tell her to hurry home and to bring comfort food," Karen shouted as she got up from the couch, depositing her empty beer bottle on the side and beginning to clear the dished from the sink so she could at least do the washing up before Ana got in.

They'd both been crazy busy, with Karen in rehearsals every day for AGT and performing live all the weekend just passed; and Ana working double shifts at Frankie's having taken on most of Karen's while she was out of action, and auditioning for a few roles that her agent had put through to her. As a result, they'd become rather messy and slobbish. Whenever either girl was home they preferred to lounge in sweat pants not scrub the kitchen.

But as Karen had snuck out early from AGT practice today, she didn't have a very good excuse for not having a quick clean round. She did the dishes while running through one of the routines in her head she'd been having a bit of trouble with early that day. She flicked the radio on with wet hands, which made Jimmy flinch when he caught her in the corner of his eye.

The first weekend of live performances had been a thrill; she loved every minute on stage even if it was a completely different vibe to being in the theatre. It had taken Karen a little while to get used to the camera marks on the stage and playing up to the lens. Her only film experience was a couple of TV ads and music videos, but live TV was something else. It was great fun though, and even better exposure for her. She'd needed something current on her CV; it was starting to look downright depressing before she'd landed this gig.

This weekend marked the second lot of live performances and would then leave her with just two more weekends of performances. The cross over with Jimmy's show's workshop would be roughly a week and a half, if they went ahead and completed initial casting by the end of the week like he said they planned to. That work load would not be enjoyable, but she could handle it someway.

Karen had to jolt herself back into reality and remind herself it was unlikely to matter either way – Derek wouldn't want to work with her now. Unless, maybe he did want a chance to see her again like she had him. God, what if that's what got her a call back, the fact the director wanted a go at round two.

"Karen," Jimmy's voice shocked the young brunette, she'd been so stuck in her own head she hadn't even realised he'd finished his phone call. The glass she'd been holding just on the edge of the sink for the last few minutes dropped from her hand as her body twitch in shock. Her fingers were slippery with soap and she couldn't catch it in time. The glass shattered around Karen's bare feet upon impact with the floor.

"Shit, fucking hell," she cried out, tiptoeing away from the mess trying to avoid getting any glass in her toes.

"Alright in there butter fingers," Jimmy called as he popped his head around the wall to see what had happened.

"Yes, fine, just being a klutz. When is Ana home?" Karen said over her shoulder as she searched in the cupboard to her left for a dustpan and brush.

"On her way, she said to tell you she had ice cream," Jimmy winked at her.

"Oh thank the lord," Karen said in a poor southern accent throwing the cloth she'd been holding at Jimmy's head. He ducked back behind the wall for cover and she missed him, but she could hear his chuckling as he walked away from the lounge towards to back of the flat and she assumed Ana's room.

The rest of the evening was filled by Ana and Karen trying to pull details from Jimmy about their auditions and chances of making the cut, but he was having none of it. Eventually Ana and Jimmy called it a night and Karen followed suit shortly after. She had rehearsal early the next day at AGT studios, and if hopefully it would be followed by that preciously awaited phone call.

She missed Kyle being there. He kept the balance in the group, especially when Awn and Jimmy were being too cosy and gropey – which was often. But the New York local had skulked off somewhere after work with a vague, "Sorry I'm busy tonight," when Karen had asked his plans. She would pin him down and grill him about that one later though. At the time she'd just wanted to get home.

As she lay in bed, thoughts of a certain someone plagued her thoughts once more, only this time she found herself kind of hoping she would get to see that looming, contemplative smile again soon, in person and not just in her dreams.

There was no avoiding it… Derek Wills intrigued her.

* * *

**AN: Thanks for reading guys! So what are we thinking will Ana, Karen or someone else get the part? More to come soon… xx Sparks**


	12. Chapter 12 - Grenade

**AN: Hi guys, here's some more SMASH-fic fun. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own SMASH characters, if I did...Derek Wills still be on our TV screens as often as humanly possible :P **

* * *

**Chapter Twelve – Grenade**

Derek's long coat swung around his feet as he made a slightly melodramatic entrance into the studio that morning, pushing both doors wide open, rather than just using the one side like everybody else.

He got the reaction he was looking for though as the members of his creative team who had been stood chatting near their work bench turned towards him. He saw Jimmy smirk out of the corner of his eye. He didn't always like that kid, but had someone else done the same as he'd just done, his face would mirror that kid's to the tee. But then again he was Derek Wills; he'd earned the right the flounce around every now and then when the mood struck.

"Right, where's Josh?" Derek said waiting for the other man to come forward. "Ah right, I want you to get hold of Ana Vasquez, Ivy Lynn, Lux French and…" He paused, looking at the paper in his hand, though he didn't really need to. He could definitely remember her name.

"And Karen Cartwright. Make arrangements to get them in ASAP. I want to see the four of them read. Jimmy you'll be our stand in Jesse. If we can get two in this afternoon that would marvellous, and two tomorrow. Thank you Josh." Derek dismissed the casting manager come choreographer without giving him any chance to respond.

He'd been up all night toying with the idea of each one of those girls playing his Amanda, but only one stuck in his head. But he couldn't put it all on the line without more information. And he definitely needed to see other girls to put a bit of perspective on things. His mind was completely clouded currently by that sassy girl who waltz into this very room the day prior, pretended she didn't even know he existed, sang her heart out until his toes tingled and the hairs on his arms stood to attention, and then bolted like a bat out of hell from the room, ending the performance like a timid little kitten.

He needed to see more of Karen Cartwright; he wanted more of Karen Cartwright. But he needed to think with his head and not any other part of his body… heart, for example, we'll say to keep things above the line.

Josh was leaving the room to make calls and Jimmy followed suit, no doubt to call his girlfriend following the casting director's call to her agent. Kyle, who was still hovering around the table, was bouncing on his heels with excitement when Derek turned to him.

"Kyle, tell me, who stood out for you. Who had the two sides of Amanda we need. Who do you think has the capacity to be a raging bitch like Nina, but still make us care about her and believe in the roots we lay when she is still in fact Amanda and a nobody?"

The spew of questions ran out of Derek's mouth so quickly Kyle needed a second for his head to catch up. Then he said the first and only thing that came to his mind.

"Karen."

Derek looked Kyle dead in the eyes, he enjoyed the honesty and absolution he saw there, then he smiled and replied, "me too." He clapped Kyle on the shoulder and didn't say another word before walking away.

* * *

A busy afternoon followed for the team in the studio.

Karen couldn't get out of work and Josh had called her agent second after Ana's. She'd managed to secure a slot the next morning, having a later rehearsal at AGT due to them being on the stage instead that day for lighting and prompts the day before the first live show of the weekend on Friday night. She was a bit worried about being the last person they might see. She really hoped the casting team weren't blown out of the water by anyone else in the meantime. If anyone did wow them though, she hoped it was her best friend.

Ana on the other hand made it in for her call back that afternoon. She felt soothed by the idea of reading with Jimmy. He was great to work with from a professional point of view, and he also knew that the moment was about the women more than him. He let Ana take the lead and show what she could do, but without just following he managed to think in sync with her mood. One of the perks of acting with you boyfriend was the predictability. His body language was her guide and his words responded to hers.

Overall, Ana had been happy with her display and hoped it was enough. Jimmy informed her Karen was coming back in also, as he knew the other girl was in the studio and probably hadn't had time to call her friend. They were ridiculously close friends however and he knew there would be no bad blood between them should one of them succeed and not the other.

Jimmy pondered over the two other actresses Derek had called for:

The other girl they saw that day was Lux, she was a petite girl with reddish brown hair and enticing hazel eyes. Jimmy had picked her out on the first day; she'd been their second audition. He liked that she was fresh out of college, with only a couple of ensemble acts under her belt. But Jimmy knew this was a worry to Derek and the others. To do it his way, they needed to find Broadway's next big thing. The only way they could pull this off the way he and Kyle imagined was to introduce someone with undeniable talent.

They needed someone who could grasp attention and keep it held within her claws. They desired someone with a certain sex appeal, because as much as he hated to admit it, sex sells. But they also required a girl with that something extra. Something they could nurture until genius bloomed.

It wasn't just the faces in this room either than needed convincing, it was investors, it was the press, and it was the audience. Jimmy didn't really know if Lux had it. And, Ana his girlfriend was super talented, but he worried Derek wouldn't find her voice to have the innocence of Amanda at the start and especially at the end.

Ivy Lynn, well she was an anomaly to Jimmy. He would never have considered her in a million years. But then maybe he was too close. He wrote Amanda, and Ivy wasn't who he saw in his head, she wasn't even in the realm of possibility of the character he'd dreamed up.

But the blonde was gorgeous, and damn could she sing. She also had stage experience, 8 or so years of it. And that, he thought, was why Derek kept her in the loop for now. She was his fall back, if the green queens fell short with the others…such as Eileen Rand, who was a hard lady to convince into a gamble.

Jimmy wanted to hold an open mind on Ivy until she came in tomorrow.

Then lastly, his thoughts shifted to Karen.

She was amazing in her audition and he wasn't worried at all about how she would do the next day in a read through. She'd worked with Jimmy a number of times in the past, and she'd acted out scenes from the script for Kyle and him.

Plus, there were a number of elements in Amanda that stemmed from Karen herself. The whole ploy of reinvention, she couldn't really get any closer to that. Jimmy lingered on that thought for a while, memories of Karen and him when they first moved to New York, desperate to make something of themselves, poured through his mind. The excitement of the city, the thrill of chasing dreams which for the first time felt within reach. Jimmy then thought of the day he'd just lived, in a studio reading with potential actresses who could bring Kyle and his work to life. It was crazy to think about. He smiled to himself though, knowing this was only the start of what would be a wild ride.

They'd just have to see what tomorrow would bring, but Jimmy had a sense of where this was going… and he didn't know at that moment whether it make or break them all.

* * *

Karen felt physically sick. She was beyond nervous to walk into that room. Behind those doors sat two of the three people she cared about more than anything else world and the idea that she might let them down was playing painfully in her mind. She paced the corridor outside the studio to distract herself from the waiting. There was a girl already inside, the blond she'd auditioned after a couple of days ago.

She couldn't hear how it was going but she strained to listen in anyway. After another ten minutes or so she took a walk to far end of the hallway to fill her drink bottle at the water fountain. She wished she'd come later, but after last time Karen had been paranoid about making sure she was on time.

As a result, she was ridiculously early and it was killing her.

She was walking as slowly as possible back towards the studio when the door swung open and the blond girl sashayed out with a wave over her shoulder to the people in the room. She smiled gleefully as she passed Karen, but didn't speak to the younger girl. For some reason Karen's heart beat sped up. She didn't like the look that girl had given her, like she'd already won the game and Karen was being called up to finish the running time and in no way had a chance at scoring.

Josh appeared at the door pretty quickly after the blond she-devil's departure to ushered Karen inside. She took a shaky, deep breath and entered behind him.

Her audition passed in a blur of activity. Karen had to rush off to her actual job so she pushed the whole event to the back of her mind. She felt relieved at least that there was nothing more she could do right now. Her fate lay in the hands of others.

Jimmy had text her after she'd left though, praising her work and telling her he was impressed. She thanked him but informed him he may be more than a little biased when it came to judgement on her talent. He had text her back telling her only an idiot could deny her "mad skilz" which made her chuckle before throwing her phone back into her bag and slipping on her jazz shoes for that day's practice run on the impressive AGT stage.

* * *

It was late Friday evening by the time Derek made a call to Eileen, instructing the producer to arrange a meeting the next day to confirm their casting decisions.

The creative team had debated for the majority of the day over the four women they had seen. The girls' résumés had been passed back and forth between the group multiple times. There were two front runners, one with a ridiculous and surprising abundance of talent; and one with skills and experience that secured her as a safer option.

Derek knew what he wanted and had vehemently enforced his choice on the team, still though they had been in a relative 50/50 split.

Eileen, Julia and Josh were holding firm on the side of safety while Jimmy, Kyle and Derek were pushing the surprise and wow factor. Somebody was going to have to relent soon, or be over-ruled – but Derek was hoping for the former outcome.

He was pretty sure he knew who that somebody would be.

By this time tomorrow Derek hoped they would have their Amanda, and if he had his way they'd have the right guy for Jesse too.

* * *

"Good morning sunshine," Derek's voice dripped with sarcasm as he entered the coffee shop about three blocks from Eileen Rand's office and threw his jacket over the chair he stood next to. Already sat at a table in the window with two steaming cups of coffee already in front of him was Jimmy Collins.

Derek had called the young guy late the previous night and asked him to meet in the morning before the rest of the group would congregate at Eileen's office. He needed to talk to him about something very important.

"We'll need a third," was all Derek said, grabbing his wallet from the pocket of his leather jacket before walking away towards the counter.

Jimmy took a sip from his own cup, confused and now even more intrigued, about what this rendezvous, which Derek had asked him to keep secret from all the other members of the creative team, would entail.

Derek placed an individual pot of tea and a cup and saucer down on the table. He also pulled over a third chair from the empty table next to them.

"So Derek, care to elaborate on why you called me here?" Jimmy cut to the chase.

"I've made my decision, I know what I want to do next and I know you agree with me," Derek began with a cocky smile. "We need to work on the others, we need every one to at least start on the same page for this workshop or we're heading for big trouble."

Jimmy sat forward slightly, listening to Derek's words. "But why all the cloak and dagger? Everyone already knows what you want. You made that quite clear yesterday," Jimmy asked honestly intrigued by why they needed to be sneaking around in coffee shops at 9am.

"I don't want us to start this production by me pulling rank on the rest of the team. That doesn't mean that I won't do that, if it becomes necessary, but I want to try and show the rest of our team what I see. For that I need you, completely and utterly on board with me," Derek paused and stared Jimmy in the eye.

"You have me for this," Jimmy replied without hesitation.

"You might want to hold that thought…" Derek started, before he spied their remaining partner in crime entering the café. Derek stood, caught the attention of the woman who had just entered and waved her over to the table. Jimmy swivelled in his chair to finally see who they had been waiting for.

Julia Huston pecked Derek own the cheek said a good morning to Jimmy and quickly took the empty seat at the table.

"Well Derek, I'm here as promised, and it's only slightly under duress," Julia began, glaring at the British man who had convinced her husband to talk her into his games.

"And I thank you Julia. Right I suppose it's time to explain," Derek started again. "We're at a cross roads, we all know it. And Julia I'm afraid the duty of swing vote has fallen dramatically into your lap."

Derek stopped Julia's protests before she could even start.

"You know it too love, you know that Jimmy and Kyle and I are right. She's everything we need, everything I want and she's right in front of our eyes," Derek paused, he was passionate that Julia join his side of things. He needed her to; he needed her to convince Eileen that this could work.

"I want Karen Cartwright," he said simply.

Julia was contemplating his words; she'd heard all his arguments to day before. But still she had sided with Team Ivy. Now though, she wasn't sure why. Because deep down, Derek was totally and completely right. They couldn't let this brunette ingénue slip through their fingers. She could be the one thing to set them apart.

All night Julia had replayed the girls audition in her head.

"But I think I know what will convince you Julia, it's exactly what won me over. Jimmy…" Derek turned to the boy who had been watching the exchange so far between director and EP. "Jimmy I want you too," Derek finished.

"You what?" Jimmy spat out, he was feeling a bit slow, for a second his mind had confused that statement with Derek "wanting" Jimmy, in an entirely different way. The thought had made Jimmy slightly choke on his coffee.

Now his mind had caught up with the director's statement and he was stunned.

"I want you and Karen as Jesse and Amanda. The pair of you, acting in my show. Keep up lad," Derek said patting Jimmy's knee with a wink in gest.

"I agree," Julia jumped in. "And I think you just found exactly what we need to get Eileen on board too."

The two old hand theatre showrunners spent the next half hour talking Jimmy into their plot. Then the three made their way to Ms Rand's office more than prepared for the morning's battle.

* * *

Derek stared at the number on the screen of his iPhone; his finger hovered over the call button. He took a steadying breath and then dialled. "Hello Ms Cartwright," Derek said when she answered after three rings. He felt the smile crawling up his face. She asked for his identity and he responded.

Derek's eyes closed at the sound of her second, slightly shocked and breathy hello. "Ms Cartwright, I would like to officially offer you a contract for a 12 week workshop beginning next Wednesday at…" Derek rattled of the logistical and professional necessities. Karen was silent on her end until he finished after which she replied "okay". It made him chuckle at her.

"Okay, is that really all you have to say? I remember you being much more…responsive…before," Derek replied, a dangerous edge to his voice. He had been adamant he would extend their offer to the girl he had chosen as their lead. Really he'd just been desperate to retrieve her phone number and to once again hear her soft, delicate voice.

She stuttered in panic at his doubled-edged statement, before quickly regaining her composure. "Thank you," she said icily, "I would like to formally accept you offer."

"Very nice, very polite," Derek mocked her again.

Karen was fuming inside but determined not to give him any opportunity to determine what she was feeling, especially the emotions that we're making her heart race at the sound of his sarcastic but incredibly enticing British drawl. "I don't know what you want me to say," she finally responded in a tone of confusion and defeat.

There was another long pause, silence on both ends of the call, before Derek jumped immediately back into strict and controlling director mode. "I understand your current engagements conflict with the start of the workshop. Is this going to be a problem?" Derek asked harshly.

Karen was distracted by his sharp change of pace; his mood appeared to snap so quickly she struggled to keep up, suffering from a case of metal whiplash. "I…it…" she took a quick breath before trying again, "no, it won't be a problem."

"Good," Derek replied. "I'll send the paper work to your agent, Jimmy will give you further details of the schedule of workshop."

"Great," she managed to slip in a confirmation that she was indeed still able to function like a normal human being.

"I will see you Wednesday morning, be ready to work, hard, and don't be late," Derek said with a snide tone of impatience and superiority.

"I will be there," Karen replied stiffly refusing to act offended. She was about to hang up the call from the rude director when she heard him whisper something else.

"I can't wait to see you again."

The line went dead.

Karen stared at her phone in her hand, unmoving. She was sure she'd just heard what he'd just said but now she'd didn't know if what she heard was what she hope he meant – if that made any sense.

Her brain was fried. Derek Wills had single-handedly turned her mind to mush. She was a zombie, with no function or comprehension.

Then after a couple of minutes had passed she threw her phone on her bed like it was a live grenade that Derek Wills had just pulled the pin from. Eugh, that prick! He was so hot and cold she couldn't tell you what day of the week it was when he spoke. He was messing with her head, she was sure of it. This wasn't good, not good at all. What had she just gotten herself into? He was a menace. She had to avoid Derek Wills at all costs. He was just enjoying toying and tormenting her, exploiting their secret.

Karen had all sorts of thoughts running through her head. Most of them involved plotting Derek Wills' demise and her hatred of arrogant, self-centred men. But the thought that played on her mind the most, especially as she scrambled into bed that night, was that it was highly possibly she enjoyed that phone call far too much.

The thrill of his words, the anticipation in his voice when he whispered that last line, it had her skin tingling and her insides giddy.

Derek Wills was bad news…but she couldn't wait until Wednesday.

* * *

**AN: There you go. The decision is made but everyone might not be so happy. More importantly though, who is excited for some workshop flirting and dangerous liaisons? I know I am! Please R&R. Many thanks, Sparks xx. **


	13. Chapter 13 - Dance to the Music

**AN: Hi Guys, little bank holiday treat for you all…ANOTHER CHAPTER! I know I'm too good to you all. Enjoy another dose of Risk. Thanks so much for reading. Happy Bank Holiday!**

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen – Dance to the Music**

Derek hit his phone to his head. What the fuck did he say that for?

"IDIOT," he berated himself.

Derek was outside of SouthPaw. He may have had a few glasses of Dutch courage before he'd made the call to Karen. Apparently he'd momentarily lost the ability to filter his thoughts and his words.

He'd talked himself into the fact that working with Karen Cartwright would be perfectly fine. He'd managed to convince himself that he could remain professional and that her talents were more desirable for the production, as was her obvious connection to Jimmy Collins. Phoning her to break the good news was a job he wanted tasked to himself as a kind of act to seal the deal, to prove that he was able to approach her in a dignified manner. It was a test he wanted to place upon himself, one of his will power…he'd abundantly failed.

The poor girl probably thought he was sociopathic. His mood when around her was ridiculously unpredictable and he couldn't fathom why. There were things that she did, even on the phone, like her sweet sharp intakes of breath when she was panicked or attempts to be stern with him, that affected Derek to his core. No woman had ever made Derek Wills feel this way. He could picture her from miles away and hear her delicate but provocative voice clearly even though he'd only met her three times in person.

Working, for an extended period of time, with Karen Cartwright was going to be quite an adventure that was for sure; and who would be left standing when they reached the X on the treasure map signifying Broadway success was a question he couldn't answer.

Derek was out drinking on his own, avoiding his apartment yet again. But one glance at his watch told him it was time to make a move. He had a lot of work to do at home and it had already been a long day.

Wednesday couldn't come soon enough though.

* * *

"To Broadway! One way or another," Jimmy shouted as the cups in the hands of all his friends around him clunked together in sync.

Jimmy and Kyle's apartment had been transformed. There were colourful fairy lights wrapped around the exposed beams of the loft room, and twinkling white lights dangling over the doorway to the small roof terrace.

Box coolers full of water, ice and beer bottles covered the kitchen work tops, along with a big punch bowl full of a sceptical green liquid and various fruits. Red plastic cups that had already been abandoned by their owners lined various shelves, bookcases, tables and speakers.

The music playing was a funky jazz beat mixed with a side of house, it fed out through the large speakers. Jimmy had borrowed from the sound system from a barman friend of his who moonlighted as a wedding DJ.

The open-plan apartment was separated into an open space for dancing and a corner where they had pushed the two sofas, any chairs they could find, and a multitude of cushions.

It wasn't a huge space and it was already full to the brim of Jimmy and Kyle's friends, and their friends and the odd friend of a friend's friend thrown in for good measure. They were celebrating, finally having found a night to enjoy the wonders of getting their show off the ground and into a studio. Now it was a double celebration, applauding Karen's big break into theatre.

Jimmy was incredibly happy about Derek's push to cast Karen, at first when the director insisted Jimmy play the male, he had been apprehensive – but now he knew it would be amazing. The whole team working together on a musical of their own creating. Ana had landed an ensemble part too. Though the fact she'd been cast to play the role of his sister was a bit disconcerting to Jimmy. He was sure they could make it work though.

Kyle had been over the moon by Jimmy's casting as Jesse, he said it made perfect sense to him. Eileen Rand also admitted that Jimmy completed the unusual, fresh and edgy vibe they were looking for.

It was Monday night. The workshop began on Wednesday and tomorrow would involve some final planning between the creative team on a schedule for the next 12 weeks. They'd hashed out the majority of the work load thus far, but Derek was a fiend for last minute changes. Jimmy and Kyle would be in studio for the most of the workshop, Kyle making notes and Jimmy in the play himself. However, it was Derek's suggestion to get them as involved as possible in the whole process– he wanted them up to speed on the inner workings of theatre as quickly as possible.

Derek also wanted to block out time over the first three weeks especially for the two lads to work on the second act and new tracks. They had managed to work the timetable to focus on a lot of Karen's scenes without Jimmy in the first three weeks. Mainly they would be looking at the big dance numbers when she was playing "Nina."

Jimmy was standing in the corner of the kitchen area, a fresh beer in hand, contemplating the hangover he was going to have the next morning and the work he needed to do when he spotted Karen sat on the sofa in the far corner of the darkening room.

He dodged multiple bodies, weaving his way over to her shouting back thanks to those who clapped him on the back as he passed by. He plonked down next to her, and they cheers'd their beers in greeting.

"You look beat," Jimmy said, assessing the quiet girl next to him. They both sat for a few minutes, Karen watching Ana and Bobby dance in the middle of the room – both of them quite drunk and having a lot of fun.

"I'm exhausted, but this is just the beginning isn't it?" Karen said but with a smile on her face and joy in her voice.

"That it is," Jimmy agreed. They were facing an enormous workload over the next 12-weeks and hopefully much longer if they managed to secure investor funding.

Kyle saw Jimmy and Karen talking and skipped over to join them. "Hello my little future Broadway heroes!" Kyle said in a sing-song voice as he approached. "Are we having fun yet?" he joked.

Karen decided she needed action or she was going to pass out on this couch and that would be something she'd regret with Bobby around. No doubt she'd wake up with a permanent marker moustache and spectacles. "Dance with me?" Karen said, not really waiting for an answer before she pulled Kyle over to join Ana and the others.

The song changed and Sweet Dreams by the Eurhythmics began to play.

"I love this song!" Ana shouted, running to pull Jimmy up too.

They danced and sang and laughed, until finally the party began to wind down as people took off to their own homes. Karen was incredibly glad she had later rehearsals from now on at AGT. Mondays were her free days from dancing but she'd managed to score a shift at the café that day, now it was close to three am and she needed sleep. On Wednesday she would start in the studio with Derek and the team, she'd be doing 8-1 at in the workshop and then 2-8 at AGT all week and a Saturday morning dress rehearsal, before two live shows on the weekend nights. Then she'd do it all over again the following week to round off her AGT contract.

Karen had toyed with the idea of dropping out of the talent show but she'd known the contracts were tricky to break early at this point and she really didn't need the bad rep that came with quitting performances. Eileen had point blank refused to push back the start of the workshop due to the bookings in place. She was adamant the time could still be used well, as Kyle and Jimmy could use it to carry on scripting and writing using members of the cast that weren't Karen to stand in while she was out.

Derek wasn't happy about it. He thought she should just quit for the show – that's what Kyle had told Karen any way. Derek hadn't actually spoken to her since his odd phone call the previous evening. But Karen was adamant she could do both jobs, and well. After all it was only a week and a half she'd have to compromise on time for. After that she was all theirs, she promised.

So tomorrow, well really today at this point in the evening, was her last day before chaos ensued. But she was incredibly eager for the workshop to begin and to get involved in her true passion of theatre once more.

The music was low now, and the apartment was all but empty, with a few close friends having crashed in the back bedroom of the loft. Ana and Jimmy had snuck off to bed. Karen was doing a sweep of the large room with a black bin bag – scooping remnants of the party away. She was collecting many red cups when she spotted a couple balance up on the beams, she shook her head in wonder at how someone had even got them up there, before finding a chair to use to reach the rubbish.

She placed the stool she'd found under the offending cross beam, stepping up carefully to reach them down. As she pulled the cups towards her carefully one toppled over and slipped from her hand, its liquid contents tipping over her head. She tried to dodge the stream of alcohol, ducking to the side, but she quickly lost her balance.

Karen squealed as she slipped from the stool and crashed to the floor in a heap.

She lay still for a few seconds before she heard people running into the room.

"Karen are you all right? What are you doing?" Jimmy was standing above her in just his boxers and she quickly closed her eyes and put her hands over them dramatically. She began to laugh loudly still laying sprawled on the floor.

"Karen?" Jimmy said again. But she couldn't stop laughing long enough to respond.

Ana came into the room too. "What are you both doing it's like far too early in the morning for this" she said walking over to Karen on the floor.

"Sorry guys," Karen wheezed, "I slipped." She pulled her hand from her face only to quickly slap it back down. "Jimmy, I'm drunk, and all I can see right now is the contents of your pants! Move man," she chuckled.

Jimmy slapped his hand to his leg and stepped away from the hysterical girl on the floor. Ana started laughing too, lying down next to her friend. "You're all wet," Ana stated, which only made Karen laugh harder. Karen looked over to her friend and explained the situation. Ana chuckled and informed Karen it was all Bobby's idea to balance a number of cups of water in random places around the loft.

"I'm so getting him back for this!" Karen fumed. She sat up slowly, her already aching head now felt tender at the back but otherwise she felt in one piece. A half-naked Jimmy extended a hand to each girl lifting them from the floor.

"Bed for you Ms Cartwright," Jimmy said." And you, "he winked at Ana.

"You wish Mr Collins," Karen said stumbling to the hallway pulling Ana with her. "She's mine tonight!" Karen said before skipping off to Jimmy's room and crawling into bed and dragging Ana down with her. Jimmy followed slowly behind them; he stopped at the doorframe, spying the two girls curled up under his duvet. Ana blew him a kiss before snuggling down again for some much needed sleep.

Jimmy pulled the door to, shaking his head at his two silly, annoying, but best friends. He instead curled up on the couch with a big afghan throw needing to sleep off the night before starting the day. He fell asleep with a smile on his face though, he hadn't felt this happy in a long time. Things were looking up in life – sky high.

* * *

Today was the big day. She'd gotten up extra early, applied more make up than usual with more care than ever, spent a ridiculous amount of time deciding what top to wear with her tight black yoga pants and even longer fussing over her curly brown locks that just were cooperating.

Karen was petrified. She was scared shitless she wouldn't be up to the standard of the other dancers, worried all the stress would be heard in her voice and on top of that she was close to hyperventilating at the mere thought of being in the same room as him, for hours!

At least she had Ana today too. Jimmy and Kyle would be there, but Ana was in the ensemble. Their schedules were quite closely entwined as Karen's character was barely ever off the stage. She met Ana in the lounge after finally throwing on a pale blue tank top and cream, loose knitted sweater that fell off of one shoulder.

"Morning sunshine, you're a bit dressed up for a day of sweating our asses of in the studio," Ana commented immediately and Karen tried desperately not to blush. "Want to make a good impression on this profound director do we?" Ana continued wiggling her eyebrows at her friend.

Karen felt a little bit guilty for not having told Ana about Derek. Usually they shared everything. But Karen knew now it would only make things worse to spill the beans about her previous activities with the almighty showrunner. Deep down Karen knew she'd tried her damn hardest in her auditions, she knew they had called her specifically following the demo songs she'd performed – but still she worried that Derek Wills had singled her out as their lead for other reasons. It wasn't going to stop her taking the part, as she was adamant to prove she could do it and then his opinion was irrelevant either way.

But knowing that Ana had been in the running for the same role, and not knowing what had actually swung the creative team in Karen's favour, made her feel like now more than ever she couldn't tell Ana the truth. She just hoped Derek would back off, and keep his distance. And she hoped for all their sakes he knew how to keep his mouth shut.

On top of all that ready-to-go awkwardness, Karen had finally relented to some cyber stalking. After Derek's last whispered line to her on the phone she was desperate to know more about him. The following evening, after a blog and gossip session on Google, she regretted opening up her laptop at all.

Derek Wills was bigger than she'd thought in the industry, he'd worked here there and everywhere and if he didn't like someone or had a bad word to say people definitely listened up to his opinions. But what really struck Karen was the vast abundance of gossip column articles about Derek Wills and rising pop sensation Daisy Parker – New York's Hottest Couple. He was engaged! What a prick? What the hell had he been thinking?

Daisy had been there that night! Karen recognised her slightly and remembered Sam telling her who she was. The red-headed bitch that wanted to kill Karen with her ice-cold stare right there in Table 46. Karen would never have pictured the two of them together. She wished she couldn't now but the paparazzi photos were all over the web.

Karen couldn't figure out that evening, or even now as her and Ana left the apartment and headed to the studio, why she was so upset. Most men were dogs and given the chance would cheat on their partners! That was life. Humans had evolved but monogamy wasn't human nature, it was a forced situation. Karen didn't believe in love at first sight, or even that love truly existed at all. But then she was damaged goods – she was resigned to the fact she would probably never trust a man again.

She would never take the risk of letting someone inside the tall, robust walls she'd carefully built to protect herself. But for some odd reason, Derek's infidelity and his apparent disregard for her as anything more than a quick fix left Karen feeling bare and insecure. And it was that which scared her more than anything else.

They had arrived at the studio with ten minutes to spare, the subway actually running close to on time for a change in the early morning rush. Ana led the way and Karen followed. As they stood outside the door she took one deep breath and pulled on her façade of steely resolve before opening the door and strutting inside.

* * *

"Welcome everybody and thank you all for being here. As you all know the road to Broadway is long and only gets longer. But we are here now, at the start of the rat race, and we're committed to giving this workshop our all in order to secure a great fate for this spectacular new musical," Derek stood in the centre of the studio with all eyes on him as he greeted the cast and team.

"We have 12-weeks to pull together something stunning, at the end we will perform the work here in this room to a great number of people we need to impress. It's going to involve long hours, hard work and a strong commitment from each and every one of you. But I have faith that we'll get there.

"Without further ado, welcome to Collin's and Bishop Workshop 1.0. Let's get started!"

As Derek finished talking the cast and creative team all clapped and cheered. Karen who had been sitting on a stage block to the left hand side of the room couldn't help but join in the applause and smile at the buzz of energy pulsing through the room.

Derek caught her attention, his eyes on hers from his place now in front of the desks and chairs near the mirrored wall. He smiled at her and waved her forward. Karen felt the hair on her arms stand on end. She was going to have to stop reacting like a school girl whenever he breathed in her direction if she wanted any chance of keep him at a professional distance.

She crossed the floor and sighed in relief when Josh, the choreographer, joined them also.

"Good morning Ms Cartwright," Derek said, his voice low and husky so it didn't carry across the studio.

"Morning," she managed to say coherently and not in the voice of a mouse on helium thank god.

"I'm aware we have you only until 1pm over the next three days this week. To make best use of this time we're going to start on choreography for Original."

Karen nodded that she understood which scene and Derek turned to the ensemble that were warming up at the bars. He ordered the chorus members out who needed to learn the routine for now and the day began.

The first day in the workshop flew by in a tirade of shouting from Derek and the ensemble and Karen picking up all that they could in the short frame of time. At 1 o'clock Linda called lunch and Karen packed up her stuff to head out to get across town in time for her AGT rehearsals.

She'd loved every minute, but she was struggling slightly having never been the lead in anything and having not had the experience other members of the chorus had in theatre. But Karen hoped she'd held her own – it was only the first day after all.

As she left the studio Karen waved over her shoulder to Ana and Kyle, not spotting Jimmy at that moment in the room. Just before the door swung shut she caught the gaze of Mr Wills also. He was in conversation with Linda and Josh but staring at her. His lips turned up in a grin and she couldn't help smiling back before the door finally blocked him from her sight.

After glancing at her watch and realising she was going to have to literally make a run for it now to get across town, can shook her head, dispelling Derek Wills from her thoughts and departed.

Day 1 had been a marginal success; Derek Wills and Karen Cartwright, colleagues only!

* * *

**AN: More to come soon. Please let me know what you think so far Thanks so much for reading! Xx Sparks.**


	14. Chapter 14 - Feelin' Alright?

**AN: Thank you so much for your kind reviews. I'm so glad you are all enjoying this story so far. Stick with me, lots more to come. Now…on with the show (story)…close enough. Don't forget to let me know what you think, what you're missing, what you'd like more of etc. Thanks! **

**Chapter Fourteen – Feelin' Alright?**

Karen and Ana spent the evening chatting away about what had happened after Karen's departure. The workshop was running 8-4 all week so Karen was only missing the last few hours for now. Ana said Derek had spent most of the time cleaning up what they had of Original, he also bought in some extra staging ideas and had the ensemble running through prop manoeuvres. Apparently he'd also left them to work with Josh while he Jimmy and Kyle discussed plot themes.

They still hadn't cast the Diva yet, but as she was a relatively minor character currently in the script the creative team wasn't waiting on it. Also Derek wanted Kyle to toy with the idea of giving her another song in the second act, which would expand her role and maybe change their ideals. As such he said casting could wait for the time being while they focused on the core of the production. The show still didn't have a name either. Not even a working title on the page.

Jimmy and Kyle were at their own place busy working on the show that evening and wouldn't be joining the girls. Now though, having seen her boyfriend throughout most of the last few days, Ana was ready for some girl time.

"Derek's pretty hot don't you think?" the short-haired girl asked Karen innocently while spooning chocolate ice from the tub her friend was holding on the sofa. Karen choked slightly on the mouthful of dessert she'd just had, shocked slightly by her friend's bluntness. Not that Ana was ever one to mince her words; the little pixie had no filter between her gutter-mind and her mouth.

"What?" Karen spluttered when she'd managed to swallow her ice cream and turning to face Ana properly, ignoring the TV screen which was playing Center Stage for about the 100th time, it was one of their favourite films to watch on girls' nights in.

"Oh come on, don't be a prude, you must have thought about it. When he was showing you some moves early I got a fabulous view of his ass! And let me tell you, it is one fine ass. He must work out too…those arms." Ana closed her eyes, exaggerating imagining Derek to wind up Karen.

"Ana!" Karen squealed throwing the cushion next to her gently at her friend. "Don't let Jimmy hear you saying that," she laughed it off but she could feel her cheeks redden slightly as her mind drifted to the night she felt exactly what Derek Wills' arms felt like, wrapped around her body.

"Hey, a girl can look!" Ana defended, while Karen mentally searched for a topic to steer the conversation away from her having to give an opinion on their new director in chief.

"Oh I know what I forgot to tell you," she began, having recalled an event from later in the day at AGT. "Remember, Duncan, that dancer I mentioned from AGT?" She paused as Ana nodded. "He may have asked me out today after rehearsal. Well he was a bit vague, and sweaty, but he asked if I fancied grabbing a drink with him sometime."

"And… details, more details, what did you say? Is he hot?" Ana quizzed her best friend.

"I said maybe, I don't know he caught me off guard. But he's pretty fine," Karen chuckled at her friend. "I might take him up on his offer, who knows. Not that I have time to date any one!" She said, exasperated. In between her two sets of rehearsals, live productions, coffee shop job and the occasionally cover shift at Flash Bar, Karen barely had time to eat, sleep and bathe!

"I think you should go out with him one night this weekend after your show. We could drag the boys over to that side of town for a change and you can bring him out with us," Ana beamed at her wonderful idea.

"I'll think on it," Karen replied non-committedly. She enjoyed that she'd caught a man's attention but she didn't really want to get involved with any one new. And going out with all her friends and a guy was like a welcome invitation into her life – she didn't offer those to just anyone.

Then there was that other reason, the one that plagued her thoughts, the one she now compared everyone else to…

* * *

The week progressed quickly and then the weekend also came and went in a whirlwind of chaos and costumes. Karen managed to talk Ana out of a night out, they instead crashed at Jimmy and Kyle's place on Saturday evening. They'd spent the night with a couple of other friends including Bobby and Jess, playing True American and getting through unholy amount of beer. Kyle had been late joining the game though. He'd been out somewhere but was acting all sketchy about where. Jimmy shrugged it off though and said Kyle wanted time alone to write some new scenes.

Even though Ana had tried to get Karen to invite Duncan the dancer over to join them she'd not. Karen wanted to relax with her friends and not have to play up to a guy and make such efforts that go with dating. She was glad of her decision and had an awesome time chilling out with her friends.

When Monday morning dawned though Karen was starting to feel the pressure; she was exhausted. But as luck would have it, Derek had informed the group he would be out of town until Wednesday so they would be working with Josh and Kyle mainly, overseen by Linda and Julia.

Eileen was also out for the time being, though when both producer and director returned it would be time to show their worth.

Jimmy had spent the day so for working on his tracks following the end of his shifts at Flash and too much drinking with the girls and Bobby. But he'd managed to get out of his Monday night run in order to take Ana out – Karen had Mondays off from AGT after their weekend shows and she was covering for him. He was going to take his girlfriend to the movies and then for a bite to eat. He was looking forward to some normalcy. His life had taken a crazy, dramatic turn and he constantly felt like one day he was going to wake up and it would all have been a dream.

Karen had taken to texting him sporadically with weird quotes of about success in an attempt to assure him this was actually happening. It was a sweet gesture.

Jimmy picked Ana up from her place; she looked incredibly cute in an oversized shirt with a belt and short denim pants. He kissed her passionately as soon as he entered the room. Jimmy had missed spending time with Ana, when they weren't surrounded by a bunch of dancers, or intruding creative team members, or Karen and Kyle for that matter.

Ana pulled away for breath, taking in Jimmy's full appearance: she loved that he often looked like he'd just stepped out of Grease the musical, in his white t-shirt with rolled sleeves and scruffy leather jacket thrown over one shoulder.

"Hi you," she breathed out sweetly. "That was quite a welcome."

"I've missed you girl," Jimmy said, kissing her deeply once more before taking her hand and leading her out of the door.

* * *

Karen was wiping down the bar, it was almost last call and it hadn't been too busy as it was only Monday night. Kyle was collecting glasses, he was practically skipping around the room and the sight made Karen chuckle. When he came back behind the bar she cornered him.

"Spill it Bishop, what's gotten you in such a good mood?" Karen asked. Catching Kyle texting on his cell and then trying to shove it back into his pocket quickly.

"Just things going well at the workshop…" Kyle started but the chimed of his message tone interrupted him, Kyle reached for his phone to check his new message.

"Liar," Karen cut him off, trying to reach for his cell phone and teasing her friend when she managed to get hold of it. She looked at the screen and read the name that appeared alongside the "1 new message" prompt. "Who's Tom then? Tell me all you little sneak! I knew there must be someone new in the picture, you've been far too chipper. Is this why you were so late to play drinking games with us the other night?" Karen accused.

"He's no one, just a friend. It's very early stage," Kyle explained. Tom Levitt was a good friend of Julia Huston, she'd been working a lot with Kyle on the book for the show over the last week and Tom had "stopped by" a few times.

They'd exchanged numbers via Julia and had been texting a fair bit. Tom was funny and Kyle was enjoying getting to know him a bit more. They were going out for drinks this weekend coming and had been arranging where best to go on a Friday night. They had met up briefly on Saturday night when Kyle should have been at home with his friends. Tom had literally ran into Kyle when the younger guy was walking home. They'd decided to grab a coffee and lost track of time.

Kyle had been hesitant to tell Jimmy about his new romantic interest because Tom wasn't like the usual people they hung out with. Kyle wasn't sure what Jimmy would think of him. Karen was always the more open minded one.

"Julia introduced us, I've haven't mentioned anything to Jimmy or Ana yet I just want to see how things go first," Kyle explained, with a subtly serious tone that Karen picked up on.

"Don't worry Romeo, I'll keep my mouth shut for now. But you know things don't stay a secret in this biz for long right. Especially if Tom's apart of the crazy-ass theatre world we call home as well," Karen said in warning. Kyle nodded.

"I know," he said, "but we haven't even been on our first date yet, Saturday was just a happy coincidence. I'll let you all know after this weekend and you'll have to listen to me celebrate or commiserate on how it goes."

Karen and Kyle closed up for the night around 1am and Kyle walked her home before heading off himself. He left Karen on the steps to her apartment with a kiss on the cheek.

"See you in the morning Miss Cartwright," he said before walking away into the night.

* * *

Karen arrived at the studio late on Wednesday morning. She'd massively overslept and then got stuck on the subway. Her alarm had definitely gone off on time, she had somehow managed to switch it off in her slumber. She'd spent ten minutes running around the apartment throwing on clothes and grabbing her stuff for work. Ana had stayed at Jimmy's the night before and made her own way in.

When Karen finally arrived she was running around 20 minutes late and was incredibly flustered – Derek was standing with his back to her as she entered the studio. "Good morning Miss Cartwright. Nice of you to finally join us," he said snidely without turning to face her. Karen smiled apologetically at Eileen who was sat near the door she'd just walked through before calling out to Derek.

"Sorry there was police action on the subway," Karen explained, skipping the part where she'd slept in too long because she felt like her eyes had only just closed by the time it came for her to get up again.

"Don't be sorry Ms Cartwright, be on time," Derek chastised. He wasn't exactly doing it in a jokey way either. He did not seem to be in a good mood at all.

The morning was terrible. Karen kept loosing count on one particular sequence in I'm Not Sorry and Derek had practically screamed at her the third time she'd messed up.

Ana had been standing in as the Diva while they worked on the new song, it was something Jimmy had written for the second act. Derek had left choreography notes with Josh while he had been away but nothing seemed to be right for him today.

When Karen arrived she'd suspected he'd been in a bad mood, by 11:30 it was a downright foul atmosphere in the studio. She felt incredibly sick, having missed breakfast that morning due to running so late and having skipped dinner the night before because she'd been distracted with rehearsals across town.

She knew her hunger and lack of rest was messing with her ability to keep up. Ideally she needed to take 20 minutes to sort her head out but she was terrified Derek would fly off the handle if she suggested anything of the sort. She'd been late and delay the day already.

"Josh, show Miss Cartwright the steps AGAIN please," Derek said icily, glaring at Karen. Eileen was here to see how the progress of the show was going and Derek knew she would not be impressed. He was getting frustrated with his lead; she was usually much more focused than this. Then he hadn't actually seen her work since the previous week.

Karen shook her head and tried to follow what Josh was showing her again, she caught Ana's eye in the mirror and smiled weakly at her. She was off her game today there was no denying but Derek was being vicious to her more than anyone else.

"From the top then," Derek ordered.

Karen made it through the steps that had been catching her up and finally got into the swing of the song when her vision started to blur around the edge slightly and it confused her. Jax her dance partner missed his cue, but it was her mistake that had thrown him off.

"Jesus Christ, what is wrong with you Karen? It's not rocket science. If you can't get this into your thick head, I'm not sure we can move much further," Derek threatened, the music had stopped and the whole cast was silent, watching the exchange between director and actress.

Derek didn't know why he was been so horrible to her. He'd had a shit few days, particular involving a multitude of arguments with his fiancé, but he couldn't take it out on this girl. She had no idea why he had turned on her. But every time she messed up he saw red, he needed her to be the best of the best. To prove he was making the right decision casting a nobody to take on the work he wanted to create.

"Can I just take a minute…" Karen asked quietly, but trailed off at the disgusted look he threw her. She needed a break, the room was spinning, and it was definitely not a good sign. But she couldn't stand against him, she wanted to get it right just as much as he wanted her to. And Eileen was watching, she was doing a fine job at making a good impression. The producer must think Karen was a totally diva.

"AGAIN!" Derek barked at her, the cast scattered to their marks at the deathly tone to his orders.

The music started up again and Karen began to dance, she spun into Jax's arm and he twirled her back out quickly, the room tilted at a funny angle and everything sounded like she was underwater. And then the room went black.

**AN: I know CLIFF HANGER! I'm mean. More to come soon. Thanks for reading as always you lovely people. Xx Sparks**


	15. Chapter 15 - Breakaway

**A/N: Hi Guys, thank you so much for leaving lovely comments. It really inspires me to know people are actually reading this story and liking it so much. Cheeky little teaser for you special people: I have literally just finished writing chapter twenty two and all I can say is, wit woo…somebody's get all hot and bothered. Buuut you'll have to wait and find out who it is! So I'll leave you with that, enjoy the next instalment.**

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**Chapter Fifteen – Breakaway**

"Karen," Ana shouted as she watch he friend go from standing with a dazed look on her face to collapsing in a heap on the floor. The studio was a flurry of action as those nearest to Karen surrounded her on the floor.

Derek stormed over and cleared space. Ana was by her friend's side in seconds. Karen was coming too, having blacked out only very briefly. "Lie still," Derek instructed her calmly. "Right, that's a wrap for today you can all go early," he said and the cast began a swift exit, all accept for Ana who had Karen's head in her lap.

The young brunette actress started to sit up slowly, the room was still shaky but she felt the need to defy Derek's words. Pissing off Derek and deliberately ignoring his instructions should not have been the most important thing given her current state, but what could she say, it made her feel a bit better.

He spoke again, his words sounded less bubbly and distant now to Karen's ears. "Ana could you nip to the coffee cart and get a cup of sweet tea and whatever food you can find there?" he asked. Ana passed her friend over to Derek who held onto Karen's shoulders gently. She kissed the side of Karen's head and left the room quickly, but with a few glances back. Karen saw that deep concern corrupted her friend's delicate pixie features and she immediately felt bad for causing such drama and worry.

"Are you okay?" Derek asked softly, his face a blank canvas as usual.

Karen was confused and shaky and Derek's fingers trailing the bare skin of her collar bone were not helping. She found her voice though, needing to convince him she was all good so she could make a hasty escape from the embarrassment soon. "I'm fine, I just got a bit dizzy there for a second," Karen explained.

"When was the last time you ate?" Derek asked, his voice trying for concern but edging into a lecture.

"I was late this morning, I forgot. I'll be okay in a couple of minutes. It's just been a crazy couple of weeks. I think it's catching up to me," Karen rambled on.

Derek hummed thoughtfully in response before helping her stand from the floor and placing her on the couch at the back of the studio. Before he could stop himself, Derek's hand reached out and swept a piece of dark hair from her face tucking it gently behind her ear. His fingers still didn't leave her face though, as he turn her cheek with his hand to look him in the eye.

"You need to take better care of yourself," he whispered, not able to tear his eyes from hers. She looked weary and he felt guilty for screaming at her all day. She had asked for a break and he'd denied her and pushed her too far. "I can't have my star collapsing on me now," he laughed gently, stroking her cheek. Karen was about to respond when the studio door opened and Ana re-entered the room. Karen pulled quickly away from Derek's touch. The moment his hand left her cheek she felt cold.

"Is she okay?" Ana said to Derek before turning to Karen and thrusting the cup of warm tea into her hand, "Are you okay?"

Karen took a sip on the tea, it was incredibly sweet. Ana also passed her a banana and a cereal bar. Karen took a bite of the fruit and turning to her best friend, "I'm fine, I was an idiot. I forgot to eat this morning, or last night really. I won't be doing that again! I promise. Sorry to scare you Awn."

"You're forgiven, just about," Ana replied hugging Karen close and almost spilling the tea.

"Love you too Pixie," Karen replied as Eileen returned to the studio having helped clear the rest of the cast out.

"Are you all right Karen?" She said seriously, glaring at Derek.

"I'm fine now Ms Rand, just a bit embarrassed. Sorry about that," Karen explained, mortified at all the drama she'd caused today.

"Good, well I think its best you head home for the day and tomorrow you will take it easy. We need you in shipshape for the rest of the ten weeks in here," Eileen ordered. Karen smiled up at the producer and assured her she was fine and could work tomorrow. She told both Eileen and Derek that she would be finished with her second production job by the end of the week and would be back in the studio full time. They both seemed appeased that they would have her undivided attention soon.

"Will you be okay getting home both of you?" Derek asked, only looking at Karen. He really wanted her to say yes, one to prolong his time with her 'almost' alone and two so he could do some stalking about where she lived. Yes it had got to that point. He was infatuated with this girl but he knew nothing could ever happen. Still, curiosity was getting the better of him. He found himself desperate to learn new things about Karen Cartwright.

Ana was about to suggest they take Derek up on his offer when Karen jumped in before her. "Thanks, but we'll be fine. We'll pick the boys up on the way home," she lied, knowing both Kyle and Jimmy were working that night. Ana looked at her friend oddly, and Karen gave her a slight kick warning her not to push it any further.

"No problem," Derek replied trying not to sound too disappointed. "I will see you both tomorrow then," he said before gathering his belongings and escorting Eileen out of the building. The producer spoke under her breath to Derek and she did not sound happy. He followed her out of the studio and they walked over to Eileen's office which wasn't too far to continue their discussion.

Karen and Ana followed shortly behind their producer and director. Ana thought Karen was acting a bit strange, but she put it down to the crazy day itself. Derek Wills was an enigma, wrapped in a mystery, inside a man that was for sure. One minute he was screaming at Karen the next he was lifting her from the floor and offering her a lift home. Men!

"Take me home," Karen sang to her best friend. Feeling much better already and linking arms with Ana as they left the studio.

* * *

Derek was late home again that night after getting what could only be described as a good old fashion scolding from Eileen for being a dick and pushing their young cast members too hard so early on. She had noticed Derek's poor attitude in the workshop session and though she knew the scene that ended the day early was in no way his fault, Eileen had felt Derek needed a bit of a reminder that he people were not invincible. Derek felt bad enough already about his actions and didn't need to be told of like a petulant child.

When he entered his apartment he found Daisy in the bedroom packing her bag dramatically. His first feeling when watching his fiancé angrily stuff clothes into a brown leather holdall was how predictable the scene felt.

Daisy had been home for hours, he was sure of it. Yet she happened to only just be packing up her things in an almighty display as he walked in through the front door. He should have been consoling her, reasoning with the red-headed girl stomping around the apartment. He should be shouting the odds or begging her to stay, or even kicking her out! He should just be doing something, reacting in some way. Instead Derek walked back out of the bedroom and into the kitchen without whispering a word.

He poured himself a generous glass of scotch, walked into his office and shut the door firmly behind him. Derek felt drained and rotten. He'd been away with Daisy to see her family and they had been bickering from the moment they'd left and came home early following a very loud, very melodramatic row at her parents' home. He couldn't even place the reason for their disagreement now.

Derek's need for a stiff drink though had less to do with Daisy and more to do with his emotions regarding an entirely different woman. He felt like a piece of shit because of Karen Cartwright. He'd come back with Daisy in a foul mood and part of him knew he was picking fights with his girlfriend because he was feeling guilty. He wanted to justify the feelings he was having for another women by blaming his fiancé.

Daisy was being a bitch, there was no denying it, but Derek jumped on her pestering and threw her attitude back at her two-fold. He wanted his problems at home to authenticate his new found need to be close to that girl. He needed to feel like his problems were big enough to make his infidelity (however small) feel validated.

Then instead of taking responsibility for his actions like a man, he'd turned on Karen. He'd been a nasty piece of work to her in the studio because he was angry at himself for putting them in the proximity they now found themselves in.

Now he was drowning his sorrows because no matter which way he looked at the situation, there was no excuse for what he had done to that young, beautiful actress that day. He knew she was juggling two hard and exhausting jobs. He knew she'd been off her game and instead of questioning why he'd beat her into working harder and harder. Then when she'd asked to stop, when she'd reached a limit, a line he should have seen, he'd shoved her over it. When she froze and looked at him in fear and confusion in the studio he immediately recognised his mistake. He'd tried to move to her, but couldn't cross the floor in time. His legs had felt like lead, and moved in slow motion as he watched her body tumble to the floor.

Derek swallowed the rest of his drink in one.

He was a prick!

What was bothering him almost more than the guilt of working a girl to the point of collapse was that his actions pained him. Derek Wills famously didn't care about anyone but himself. But he cared about her. He couldn't help it. He wanted nothing more than to sweep her up off that floor and carry her away to safety. But prying eyes stopped him. He placated his own peace of mind by hanging around to make sure she was okay. He wanted to take her home, wrap her up and promise that nothing in this world would ever harm her again – especially not him!

But if this day had served no other purpose other than to shake up his already crumbling relationship and moral soul, it had made him realise that Karen Cartwright could never be his. She was too good, too pure and too precious to ever be with a monster like him.

He left the office and conveniently Daisy had just made it to the front door. She turned to see him approaching. He still didn't speak, but Derek reached out and removed the large bag from her clutches. He pushed the slightly open door closed once more and caught Daisy's glare.

"I want you," he sighed in a husky deep tone. He reached out for her hand but Daisy snatched it away. "Daisy, please," Derek said impatiently. He was not one to ever apologise even when he was dead wrong. But he knew how to avoid the word sorry and still win over the red-head's convictions.

He took her hand again very gently and he felt her relenting. She didn't resist when he guided her back into the apartment and to the staircase – with only one destination in mind. He was irrevocably undeserving of the girl he desired, but he needed to feel something, anything, right now with anyone.

He led Daisy through the bedroom door, closing it softly behind them before pushing her up against it and kissing her deeply. He was angry at himself for what he had done but more for how he felt. He didn't want to feel a desperate need for that girl. He needed to surround his body with the feel of the girl he was supposed to want and need.

Daisy returned his kisses, trying to slow his actions. But he was ferocious and full of pent up desperation. He grabbed her roughly pulling her legs around his waist and pressing her body up against the door.

The red-headed girl pulled back and looked into his eyes. She wanted to believe this was his apology, that he wanted, needed her to forgive him. But the look in his eyes didn't match his actions. She didn't know what he felt anymore. But she couldn't let him go.

Daisy pulled him back to her mouth, her tongue trailing across his lips asking for permission. He granted it to her and their tongues duelled for control.

Derek spun them around knocking numerous items of the dresser next to them. He carried Daisy to their bed, ready to spend the rest of the evening blocking out thoughts in his mind that would otherwise be driving him slowly insane.

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**A/N: That's all for now folks. Come back soon. Many thanks for reading. Xx Sparks **


	16. Chapter 16 - Stand

**A/N: Hello lovely people… THANK YOU for continuing to read my story. It makes me feel all fuzzy inside to know people are enjoying it. I thoroughly love writing it for you! I'm excited about this chapter, I've been picturing it in my head since I started writing Risk. So enjoy…**

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**Chapter Sixteen – Stand**

Karen had never been more relieved for a production she was a part of to come to an end. AGT's grand finale broadcast live on Saturday and Karen rejoiced on Sunday in a full day of wallowing on the Sofa, half of the time with Ana who still had the morning café shift.

She had been back in the studio Monday and Tuesday, now full time in the workshop, and things had gotten better after Derek's outburst the prior week and Karen's embarrassing breakdown. Better but much weirder. Derek had barely spoken to her. Not that they spent an awful lot of time swapping childhood stories before his public humiliation of her. But now their relationship seemed more strained than when they first met again after 'that night.'

If it wasn't for the fact being the director occasionally involved acknowledging the lead actress, Karen was pretty sure Derek would pretend that she didn't exist at all. His moods still left her feeling nauseous and like she was on a horrifying rollercoaster with more twists than she could handle. He'd be downright chipper with Kyle then flip to Karen with one word replies and dismissive body language.

Karen tried not to dwell on it too much though. She really did not know this man at all. Maybe he got off on this kind of thing – the drama, the secrets and the aloof arrogance.

They were working on the opening scene of the show, Amanda on Brooklyn Bridge, her life falling apart at the seams. Karen was struggling, she had the script memorized and the blocking wasn't tripping her up. Jimmy was with her and usually he made grasping the character much easier. But Amanda's desperate actions; Karen was fraught trying reach what she knew was needed from her. It didn't help having the added pressure of this being the first thing the audience would see when they performed in 12 weeks. At least it seemed that Karen was more stressed with her performance than Derek, he wasn't screaming at her anyway. They were still working Tuesday evening and it was getting late, members of the ensemble looked like they were ready to plot a second Great Escape any moment.

"Right, let's call it a day people. Thanks for your hard work. We'll start at 9am sharp tomorrow," Derek told the room.

Karen grabbed her bag from the back of the room and waited for Ana who was still chatting to Henry one of the other ensemble members. She was flicking through a couple of missed messages on her phone when Derek called to her. "Karen, a word," he never really made anything seem like a question, but they weren't flat out orders either. She made her way across the room to the director who was still at his table shuffling notes into his black satchel. Jimmy caught her eye when she walked around him near the bank of desks; she stuck her tongue out at him in a childish way only bought out of her by his presence.

"Derek," she said, unsure how to address him. Their conversations should definitely be getting easier not harder! What was wrong with the two of them, seriously?

"Come somewhere with me?" Derek asked her, finally looking up into her face. Karen pulled at the sleeves of her cream, loose-fitting sweater, contemplating his question and unsure how to take it giving their previous solo encounters.

Derek appeared to realise her reluctance and filled in the blanks, "I just want to show you something, I think it will help you…understand…this scene a little better." Derek smiled at her and Karen felt like it was the most genuine emotion he had shown to her in the two weeks they'd been working together.

It was that smile which made her immediately reply yes.

* * *

Derek took Karen's hand and helped her exit the taxi they had taken from the studio, the motion was purely chivalrous, but his touch on her bare flesh made her stared at his fingers. Derek noticed where her attention was lingering and let her go quickly.

They were at the entrance to Brooklyn Bridge and Derek began to walk to the footpath that allowed pedestrians to cross the bridge. Karen followed in step wrapping her leather jacket tighter around herself. She wasn't confused of their location, but for a second Karen's mind was panicking about why he had bought her here.

They walked in silence, the path ahead of them all but empty of others as the evening drew in and the temperature in the air dropped. When they were about a third of the way across the bridge with nothing but water below and the lights of the shore at either end feeling distant Derek stopped.

He turned to Karen, leaning up against the railings.

"So, I think it's obvious why I bought you here. You're not connecting with Amanda in this moment, and it's understandable. Contemplative suicide is a difficult emotion to reach let alone portray. It's even more difficult to do it over and over again on command and make it believable each time. But you can make the audience feel what Amanda is feeling; I believe you can take us there."

Derek watched as Karen listened to him. He enjoyed the attention she gave to him, and how willingly she took note to his direction outside of the studio. "Do you trust me?" he asked her.

Karen froze on the spot. Did she trust him? No.

Karen didn't trust anyone, ever. But she felt that wasn't really what Derek was asking of her. He just needed her to give him a minute of her time where she relinquished control to him. That was something she could handle, even needed right now, if it would help her work in the show.

She didn't reply out loud but instead raised her hand to him and he took it. Derek steered her to the edge of the railings and turned her body away from his facing out to the water. His proximity had her breaths coming in quick succession and she enjoyed the warmth of his chest press against her back.

"Look straight ahead, remember how open, how bare it looks out there, how dark," Derek said calmly into her ear. His breath tickled her neck in the most delightful way. Karen could hear people walking passed them on the bridge, she heard their footsteps but she didn't turn, she kept facing forward. Derek's hand rested on her hip and she never wanted him to remove it. His other spare hand stroked her hair back behind her ear as it had blown in to her face in the breeze.

"Keep watching, keep remembering everything," Derek told her and she struggled against the urge to turn to meet his lips that were so close to her cheek. "Don't move…and don't panic."

Derek's words shocked her a little and Karen flinched as she felt a silk scarf fall over her eyes. Darkness encaged her and her breaths came in quick spurts of apprehension. "Shush, I'm here," Derek sighed into her ear as he tied the scarf around the back of her head. "Just feel… feel the wind on your face, in your hair. Listen to the sway of the water below you, hear the traffic behind you. None of it slowing, nobody stopping."

Derek's hands were slow as he trailed them down from her head to rest on her waist. He needed to keep her calm enough for this to continue but on edge enough that everything around her was heighten, every feeling intense. He wasn't one to normally take field trips with his actresses but he knew she was novel to all of this and inside of Karen was an outstanding actress just begging, needing the right guidance to pull her into stardom.

Karen followed his guidance absorbing her surroundings by smell, and sound, and touch. She felt scared in the darkness, shaky at the sightlessness that encompassed her now. But she could feel him there and that made everything okay.

Then his hands were gone from her body and his voice wasn't in her ear. She felt incredibly alone immediately after his warmth left her back. She was terrified and over-stimulated. The water continued to move making her blind body unstable. She gripped the railings tightly, her fingers hurting with the pressure and the chill of her grasp on the freezing bars. She felt exposed, but invisible. Much like she imagined Amanda would feel as she contemplated ending her life and not a single soul that passed by seemed to care.

The darkness was so desperately lonely and it pressed on her. She felt a tear roll down her cheek as she began to feel trapped by her own body. She was shaking. Time moved on around her but she couldn't make her body move at all. She couldn't keep track of how long she stood there, cold and lost, just hearing and thinking about her life, about Amanda's life: how different they were, but how they could also compare in ways.

And then when she thought she couldn't stand it any longer and was about to let go of the bridge and rip away the cause of all blackness a hand touched hers. Familiar fingers lacing with her own, removing her tight grasp from the railings in front of her, instead pressing their soft palms together in a tight clutch.

Another hand reached up and slid the blindfold from her face with extreme care. The dark evening felt so much brighter now she could see again. After the pitch blackness the bridge felt illuminated and magical.

Cars continued to cross by behind them. People passed on their way home. Derek leant down to her neck, kissed the exposed flesh softly and then whispered "When it felt like the end he was there. She was not alone."

Karen turned to face him again and his eyes were jet black and burning into hers. She unconsciously leant in towards his lips. They were so close sharing the same air but they both paused. They just stood there, frozen. Finally Karen found her voice again.

"Thank you. I think I understand now," Karen felt like she hadn't spoken in an eternity and her voice came out steadier than she expected it would. She was first to move, pulling away from the man in front of her. She snatched her hand from his because his touch was become too much for her to handle, immediately though she regretted letting go.

"Good. Let's go," Derek responded after a short moment of composure. Why was it this girl always getting him riled up then walking away? Though he had to admit he was probably to blame both times – he was the initiator! He had to pack that in soon.

Derek followed Karen as she walked back towards the bright lights they had come from. He couldn't resist checking out her ass. Then he mentally chastised himself, 'Way to ruin a moment.'

A fucking amazing moment. Derek was really going to have to watch himself. Anything else like that and he wasn't going to be able to keep up his steely resolve to remain entirely professional with Karen Cartwright. They couldn't be anything more, he couldn't drag her down to his level, she didn't belong there.

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**AN: That's all for now lovely people. Happy Sunday. Enjoy the rest of it and come back for more soon. As always I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter! Xx Sparks. **


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